S.E.E.D. Professional Growth for Student Employees Moving Through Conflict

Transcription

1 Presenter: Tracy Tarver Conflict Management and Dispute Resolution Office S.E.E.D. Professional Growth for Student Employees Moving Through Conflict

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3 Setup Groups: Four or less Objective: build a wall using Legos and based on your individual instructions Instruction: Make a wall seven rows high and two studs across. Include a window Time: 10 minutes Debrief Management-Exercise-Hidden-Agenda.aspx Exercise

4 Why do we avoid bringing up a conflict? Discussion What do you do, or what have you seen other people do, to avoid bringing up conflict?

5 Most common ineffective strategies used in managing workplace disputes: Avoidance/silence (with gossip) by ignoring or griping to friends and not raising the issue for resolution. Indirect means such as complaining to your supervisor or the offending party s supervisor; using nonverbal language to communicate your dispute; or addressing it with a whole group of colleagues rather than the employee you have the problem with. Starting a difficult conversation with emotion and accusation.

6 Conflict: A natural phenomenon of organizational life Defined: A situation in which someone believes that his or her own needs have been denied. A state of unresolved differences and/or unresolved feelings. Opportunity: Can push conflicting parties to grow and communicate. Simulates creativity, innovation, and change. Resolving successfully can get benefits that you did not at first expect.

7 Addressing Conflict Productively Assess the Source of Conflict Communication differences: misunderstandings, poor communication, noise, values, culture, personalities, unresolved or suppressed conflicts People are often quick to assume that most conflicts are caused by a lack of communication. Plenty of communication usually is going on in most conflicts. The mistake many people make is equating good communication with having others agree with their views. Kursh, 1971 Structural differences: decision-making alternatives, performance criteria, resource allocation, roles requirements, unclear boundaries Personal differences: behavioral styles, work styles, learning styles, education, experience, external factors

8 UNDERSTANDING YOUR CONFLICT-HANDLING STYLE S O U R C E : T H O M A S - K I L M A N N C O N F L I C T M O D E I N S T R U M E N T

9 AVOIDANCE (I LOSE, YOU LOSE) Characterized by deliberately ignoring or passively withdrawing from a conflict. Hopes the conflict will go away or resolve itself without their involvement. Appropriate situations: For trivial issues or when it costs more to confront the problem. Inappropriate situations: For difficult and worsening problems. Strength: Best initial response to conflict when you are unprepared for it or emotions are running high. Use avoidance for a short-term strategy for buying time and figuring out how to handle the conflict. Weakness: To use as a temporary fix

10 ACCOMMODATING (I LOSE, YOU WIN) Characterized as being smoothing and harmonizing. Emphasis is on human relationships. Wants to please others in order to keep peace more then they want to meet their own personal needs and desires. Appropriate situations: When the dispute isn t that important to you or it is possible to eventually get something in return. Inappropriate situations: Complex or worsening problems. Strength: Encourages cooperation Weakness: Temporary solution and best not to be too quick to use this style. Refrain from using statements such as It doesn t matter to me or Whatever you say.

11 COMPETITIVE (I WIN, YOU LOSE) Characterized as being forceful, aggressive, autocratic, authoritative, confrontational, uncooperative, etc. Pursues own goals at the expense of another; highly goal-oriented; relationships are a low priority. ZERO-SUM GAME Appropriate situations: When an unpopular or quick solution must be implemented, or commitment by others is not important to your solution. Inappropriate situations: When you want an open and participative climate. Strength: Speed in decisionmaking. Best when you pick the right battles and believe the outcome justifies the investment of your time and energy. Weakness: Breeds resentment.

12 COMPROMISING (WE BOTH WIN, WE BOTH LOSE) Characterized as making a fair and equitable split between positions straddling the fence style. Concern for goals and relationships willing to sacrifice some of their goals while persuading the other to give up part of theirs; give a little, get a little. Appropriate situations: When parties have opposing goals but a similar amount of power; it is desirable to achieve a temporary solution to a complex issue; or under time pressures. Inappropriate situations: When overuse would lead to missed deadlines, etc. Strength: When looking to bring conflict to a quick closure and there is a degree of trust between the parties and/or the facts and needs of both parties are mutually understood. Democratic process. Weakness: Can be a temporary fix.

13 COLLABORATION (I WIN, YOU WIN) Characterized as being cooperative with the other party to try to resolve a common problem. Shows a high concern for one s own goals, the goals of the other, the successful solution of the problem, and the enhancement of the relationship. Appropriate situations: Complex issues full of misunderstanding and when the parties can keep an open mind, temporarily setting aside our own priorities, and considering many different approaches. Inappropriate situations: Issues rooted in opposing value systems. Strength: Resolution last longer because it deals with the problem rather than its symptoms. Weakness: Requires the highest investment of time and energy than any other style.

14 Value of Issue/ Goal Competing (assertive, uncooperative) I want to do it this way. My way or the highway. Collaborating (assertive, cooperative) I want to solve this problem in a way that meets both of our needs. Two heads are better than one. Compromising (intermediate assertiveness and cooperativeness) Why don t we do it this way this time and the other way next time? Let s make a deal. Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative) Can we talk about this another time. I ll think about it tomorrow. Accommodating (unassertive, cooperative) Sure, I m flexible. It would be my pleasure. Value of Relationship

15 Personal Conflict Management Styles 1. Describe the conflict-management style you usually use at work. 2. Describe the conflict-management style you usually use at home. 3. Describe the conflict-management style you usually use with friends. 4. List the predominate characteristics of the conflict-management style you use most often. 5. Describe a conflict-management style that tends to irritate you. 6. Describe a conflict-management style that you respect in others. Source: Prudence Bowman Kestner and Larry Ray, The Conflict Resolution Training Program, 2002

16 Strategies to Improve Conflict Handling Style If you are competing: Let go of the position for a moment. Think about what the other person needs or wants. Work with others to identify underlying concerns and issues Consider all the options and how all the parties stand to benefit from each one. If you are accommodating or avoiding: Focus on your own concerns. What are your needs and goals? Give yourself time to gather data that support your case your goals and reasons they matter. Take a deep breath; calmly state your concerns and why they are important. If you sense that a confrontation is brewing, don t just give up. Objectively present your point of view while providing data to support it. If you are compromising: Slow down. Don t always choose the fastest solution. Take your time to find alternatives that really work for everyone. If you are collaborating: Make your thinking explicit when you re at the table. Help other colleagues understand how you work with others to find solution that benefit everyone.

17 EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION REQUIRES: Dealing directly with the conflict. Ascertaining the source of the conflict. Empathizing with the conflicting party. Using the appropriate conflict-handling style.

18 1. All conflicts hinder organizational effectiveness. 2. Most people have the ability to vary their conflict response according to the situation. 3. Every conflict doesn t justify a manager s attention. 4. Some conflicts are unmanageable. 5. Most conflicts are caused by a lack of communication. 6. Research indicates that paying senior executives high salaries is a major source of conflict. 7. Accommodation requires each party to give up something of value. 8. Competitive/forcing is an effective strategy for resolving important issues when unpopular actions need to be implemented. 9. Collaboration is an effective strategy for arriving at a expedient solution under time pressures. 10. Avoidance is a good strategy when emotions are running high and time is needed to calm down. 11. Collaboration has been consistently shown to be the most effective resolution strategy. True/False Quiz

19 Remember when in Conflict People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will not forget how you made them feel ~~ Maya Angelou