Coach Your Way to Leadership Success Essential coaching and mentoring skills to help the people around you to be the best they can be

Transcription

1 Coach Your Way to Leadership Success Essential coaching and mentoring skills to help the people around you to be the best they can be Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer Master Trainer and Coach The Kevin Eikenberry Group

2 A Question for You to Consider What is the most important thing, idea, or concept that you want to get from our time together? 2

3 What I Hope You Get Understand the critical difference between coaching and discipline. Why leaders need to become better coaches. How to apply the ABC s of coaching. How to have a successful coaching conversation. Understand the sources of your feedback power. How to use the four types of feedback. Tips for taking control of the situation to effectively handle conflict & angry people. How to manage your emotions and coach under pressure. 3

4 Coaching vs. Mentoring A Coach gives instruction or advice. Coaching is mainly focused on performance and behaviors. A Mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. Mentoring is focused on career choices, life decisions, etc. Mentoring usually includes some coaching. Coaching doesn t necessarily include mentoring. 4

5 Coaching vs. Discipline Coaching is about Improving good performance or Helping someone to avoid discipline Discipline is about Improving poor performance or unacceptable behaviors Warning someone about impending actions that could have negative implications for their employment 5

6 Coaching vs. Discipline Coaching Excellent Minimum Acceptable Performance Discipline Acceptable Not Acceptable Termination 6

7 Seven Reasons to Become a Better Coach 1. To get better, faster, more accurate results from your team. 2. To build on past successes. 3. To learn about and correct mistakes and process problems. 4. To find and leverage team member s hidden strengths and motivations. 5. To identify team member s blind spots or weaknesses that can be improved. 6. To learn what you can do to contribute to team success. 7. To find out what you are doing that limits team success. 7

8 The ABC s of Coaching Success 1. Accountability 2. Belief Both directions Pygmalion effect people tend to perform up or down to your expectations of them 3. Conversation Dialogue, not monologue 8

9 Sources of Feedback Power 1. Position Automatic 2. Expertise Based on the other person s belief 3. Relationship Based on trust 9

10 Sources of Feedback Power 1. Position 2. Expertise 3. Relationship Important Point! The more you have of all three, the less your technique matters. 10

11 Types of Feedback Negative Feedback any negative comment about past behavior Do more. Positive Feedback any positive comment about past behavior Do less. 11

12 Types of Feedback Negative Feed forward any negative comment about future behavior The next time this situation comes up, don t do. Positive Feed forward any positive comment about future behavior The next time this situation comes up, do. 12

13 How to Handle Conflict & Angry People (This should only be an issue during discipline conversations.) 13

14 First What causes anger? 14

15 Anger Is not a primary emotion Is almost always the result of something else A violated or unmet need that causes Fear Pain (emotional or physical) Both 15

16 An analogy 16

17 Understanding Anger Shaking The Bottle = Fear or Hurt Foam/Explosion = Anger Creates 17

18 How to Handle Angry People & Conflict Take away the shake Create a safe environment. Remove sources of threat. Identify and address unmet needs. Let them vent. Name (carefully) the underlying thought / perception / emotion. Identify the fear or hurt. 18

19 How to Handle Angry People & 1. Acknowledge and honor their perspective and feelings. 2. Focus on Conflict Issues rather than people The future rather than the past Commitments rather than justifications 19

20 Managing Your Emotions and Coaching Under Pressure 20

21 Three Steps to Get Your Anger Under Reflect Name your fear or hurt. Reframe Control Look for a reasonable, positive interpretation of what you observed. Re-engage Speak assertively so that you have your concerns heard and understood. 21

22 Five Steps to Communicate Better When Stressed SOLAR 1. Stop 2. Observe 3. Listen 4. Adjust/reframe 5. Respond 22

23 Five Steps to Communicate Better When Stressed 1. Stop 2. Observe What are the facts? What is objective? What is observable? 3. Listen What is my story? What am I telling myself? What is my perception? 4. Adjust/reframe Is my perception accurate? Is there another explanation? Do I see them clearly? Do I really understand their perspective? 5. Respond 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer 23

24 Having a Successful Coaching Conversation Start 24

25 Next Steps Take action Teach concepts to a colleague Additional resources Other training options Other learning resources For better personal and professional growth 25

26 Your Questions? 26