Managing Conflict & Difficult People/Situations

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1 Managing Conflict & Difficult People/Situations SANDRA PLENSKI ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF BUSINESS OPERATIONS UC Hastings College of the Law Bursar s Conference-April 2017 Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida

2 Does it take two to tango? Often times, the answer is YES! Even though we all think differently, we like to think everyone wants to resolve difficult situations. However, this is not always true. There are those who appear to LIVE to cause problems. You cannot control others, but you CAN control your reactions and what you bring to difficult situations. This session is designed to help you deal with difficult people & situations in the workplace. We all have them or else we wouldn t be sitting here! Let s get started!

3 Determine the Type of Conflict You Are Dealing With Is the conflict structural? Is the conflict interpersonal? Structural conflict takes two people out of the situation and puts two new people in. If the problem is still there, the problem is structural. Interpersonal conflict takes two people out of the situation and puts two new people in and the problem is resolved. Structural conflict can often times turn into interpersonal conflict. This is true if there is a problem at your place of employment that s not addressed for months or years! The problem starts to turn people against each other and the stress then becomes interpersonal. If the above is true, try to change the structure and address issues quickly before they become interpersonal!

4 Conflict Resolution 1. Step one is easy: Try to let the parties figure things out for themselves. Often times, if you may get involved unnecessarily. 2. Get involved when things get out of hand. You can recognize this when the problem is affecting work production, disrupting the work of those not involved, and the office having a tense feeling in general. 3. Identify the true impediment. Questions to ask: What is the true motivating factor? What is really keeping these parties or this person from agreeing to a solution? 4. Pay attention to body language and listen not only to the words being said, but the tone of those words. 5. Creatively think about ways people can cooperate as opposed to clashing. 6. Isolate the person who is refusing to budge. This tends to neutralize that person and they may be able to then see a compromise.

5 Managing Conflict Between Employees (This can be difficult!) 1. Give each side a chance to tell their story. When two people have conflict, it s important to listen! This is a basic principle. Listening doesn t mean you agree with one or both of them: it just validates that they are having a conflict and allows the employee to feel that they are being heard. 2. Once the stories are on the table, remind the conflicted parties of the BIG PICTURE! Try to get them to see the entire bus instead of just the steering wheel. 3. As the manager, it s your duty to identify the real obstacle. Try to determine if there s a personality conflict, a vendetta, or perhaps a personal issue that has nothing to do with work and the other person/people involved. 4. Ask yourself the following questions: What is the true motivating factor? What is really keeping these people from agreeing to a solution?

6 Resolutions to Structural Conflict 1. Clarify job responsibilities. Hold staff meetings weekly or monthly. In those meetings, clarify who is responsible for what depending on what the need of the workplace is. This often resolves the problem as everyone walks away knowing what they are supposed to be doing and they also realize that others know their job as well. 2. Change job responsibilities. Take a look at your department and see who can do what best. You can also change workflows, standard operating procedures, and schedules which can alleviate the structural problem. 3. Listen to your people! Most often, people want a peaceful workplace. While this is not always true, it s most often true. Listen and learn! Give each person respect.

7 Things to consider: Keep conversations neutral. Avoid discussing personal issues & divisive issues. This seems obvious, but happens often in the workplace. If someone tries to engage you in a conflicting conversation, change the subject. If that continues, leave the room. Edit the Script. As managers, we are often called upon to be mediators. When there is conflict, often times people dig in their heels. They refuse to budge from their viewpoint. There is no winning or losing. What you are looking for is working toward a mutual goal. Retell the story about the dispute in a positive, constructive manner that is forward-thinking.

8 Dealing with Difficult Employees Separate emotions from the work at hand when dealing with your employees. Your job as a manager is to focus on tasks, projects, day-to day, and results. Do not turn your back on a difficult employee in hopes they ll go away. They don t and this can exacerbate the problem. Confront the problem(s) head on. You can admit that you believe there s a personality conflict, but never let that take you away from letting the employee know that both of you have jobs to do. Don t assume you re making yourself clear. This is a very big error that managers sometimes make. When giving instructions, clarify that the employee knows what you are asking of them. Write your requests as well as speak them. Assign tasks two different ways, both via words and via . See how the employee best responds. Go to the employees office or desk to speak. Being called to the managers office is not always the best way to handle difficult employees and may immediately put them on the defensive. This often times makes them feel good that you are coming out of your office for them!

9 Dealing With a Difficult Boss Part 1 Remember that your boss is a person too! They are not only in charge of your function, but often times many other functions as well. They sometimes expect us to be mind readers. They don t always share their entire vision of a project until you ve submitted the finished product. Realize there may be a difference in thinking styles. Bosses are often Big Picture thinkers who give little regard to the smaller details or what it takes to achieve a completed project. Often, we are Organized Implementers. When our boss gives us a project, we want to make sure we have details, an outline and action steps. While both styles of leadership can make great partners, they can also drive each other over the edge!

10 Dealing With a Difficult Boss Part 2 HOW DO WE ACHIEVE HARMONY? Recognize each other s strengths. Perhaps your boss is poor with details but has great ideas. You, as someone who pays attention to detail, are the perfect match for your boss. You may lack creative abilities, but you can keep everything on track. These two styles complement each other and use that to your advantage Make sure you know exactly what it is that your boss expects to see as a result. Even if he or she only has a limited amount of time to discuss a project, don t let that deter you! It will only cause you to have to redo a project that you thought was completed. Remember that all brains are not the same. Though your boss may frustrate you with his or her lack of details, perhaps he or she hasn t thought of them yet and is relying on you for that. You, on the other hand, may be thinking of the details from the minute the project is discussed.

11 Dealing With a Difficult Boss Part 3 Accommodate for the differences. Neither of you is likely to change, so change your focus to adapting. strategy is important. Make sure you have in writing, if possible, what is expected. Build checkpoints into the project. Whether it s ¼ of the way through, halfway through, then ¾ of the way through, various checkpoints enable you to be able to determine that you re either on the right track or on a different train! Don t be afraid to ask for what you need. If you are at a stop-gap, ask your boss for a decision so you can meet your deadline. Remember that people with different styles view projects differently. Keep in mind that blending your viewpoints often times produces the best result.

12 The Nine Most Difficult Personality Types And Tips on How to Deal With Them! Part 1 1. The Egomaniac Don t poke fun, be prepared to coddle, if you give them importance they crave, you re in a position to change their mind & improve their work! 2. The Glory Hound Use the Less is More approach. Create specific metrics and only reward them when their performance exceeds those levels. 3. The Gossiper-Set a good example! Don t bite on juicy tidbits. Unfortunately, you can t forbid employees from discussing employment-related topics. 4. The Silent Clam They speak slowly and choose their words carefully. Don t jump in as a busy manager and put words in their mouths. Say To make sure I understand, you think that. 5. The Constant Complainer-Turn complaints into constructive proposals. Ask them how they would like to see things resolved. In a private setting, tell them you want them to use language that is more constructive. 6. The Control Freak-Co-Workers can suffer from this type more than the manager. However, you are leading the entire department. You may have to keep detailed records and get HR involved if necessary.

13 The Nine Problem Work Personalities And Tips on How to Deal With Them! Part 2 7. The Change Resister This type can turn off other employees trying to adopt to changes. Solicit their input and ask for their help in implementation. Being involved from the start could be very helpful and they hopefully will believe that whatever changes are necessary can enable a greater impact. 8. The Micromanager-This type is the boss! And that boss can be you or your supervisor. Remember that they are afraid of losing control. If the micromanager is your boss, provide them with information before it s asked of you, especially about items you think or know are important to him or her. 9. The Procrastinator-This type is usually very aware that they are procrastinators and most often admit to it. Never wait until the last minute for his or her input on a project. Check in daily or weekly, depending on the project. REMEMBER: IT S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE THESE PERSONALITY TYPES, BUT THAT DOESN T MEAN YOU CAN T TRY!

14 THINGS TO REMEMBER Not all conflicts can be resolved. Even if the conflict cannot be resolved, that doesn t mean you can t have a harmonious workplace. You may have to use your college s disciplinary procedures to resolve situations. KEEP SMILING!!! If you have any questions, please contact me at plenskis@uchastings.edu. THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING!!!

15 References 1. Business Management Daily-Workplace Conflict Resolution Resolution 2. INC. Magazine- Tough Employees 3. Your Office Coach

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