Using Your Emotional Intelligence to Develop Others

Transcription

1 Using Your Emotional Intelligence to Develop Others

2 Previous Publications Dr. Linda Gravett: HRM Ethics: Perspectives for a New Millennium, 2002.

3 Using Your Emotional Intelligence to Develop Others Sheri Caldwell and Linda Gravett

4 USING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO DEVELOP OTHERS Copyright Sheri Caldwell and Linda Gravett, All rights reserved. First published in 2009 by PALGRAVE MACMILLAN in the United States a division of St. Martin s Press LLC, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY Where this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world, this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited, registered in England, company number , of Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS. Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies and has companies and representatives throughout the world. Palgrave and Macmillan are registered trademarks in the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries. ISBN ISBN (ebook) DOI / Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Caldwell, Sheri. Using your emotional intelligence to develop others / Sheri Caldwell, Linda Gravett. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN Management Psychological aspects. 2. Leadership Psychological aspects. 3. Emotional Intelligence. 4. Customer services Psychological aspects. I. Gravett, Linda. II. Title. HF C dc This book is printed on paper suitable for recycling and made from fully managed and sustained forest sources. Logging, pulping and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin. A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library. Design by Newgen Imaging Systems (P) Ltd., Chennai, India. First edition: November

5 In loving memory of Wm. Dewey Caldwell. We also dedicate this book to our families, who have supported our writing efforts and promised to read the end product, word for word.

6 CONTENTS List of Figures and Tables Foreword Preface Acknowledgments ix xi xiii xv One Introduction 1 Two The Advantages of Emotionally Intelligent Training 15 Three Using Emotional Intelligence in the Needs Analysis Process 21 Four Emotional Intelligence in Training Design 31 Five It s Show Time: The Emotionally Intelligent Trainer in Action 45 Six Emotional Intelligence and the Measurement Process 59 Seven How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence as a Trainer 67 Eight Best Practices from the Best Trainers 77 Nine Leadership Practices: A Framework for Success 91 Ten Enhancing Key Dimensions of Your Emotional Intelligence 101 Eleven Here s Your Checklist for Application! 109 Twelve A Self-Assessment on Emotional Intelligence 111 Thirteen Now What? The Path Forward 115

7 viii Contents Appendices Appendix 1 Survey Compilation: Trainers 125 Appendix 2 Pre-Workshop Audience Analysis 129 Appendix 3 Sample: Setting Time Frames for a 30-Minute Presentation 131 Appendix 4 Organizational Culture Needs Assessment 133 Appendix 5 Trust Audit: A Test for Organizational Ethics 137 Appendix 6 Multi-Rater Feedback Instrument 139 Appendix 7 Self Assessment on Time Management 141 Appendix 8 Quality Dialogue Questions for Focus Groups 143 Appendix 9 Sample Workshop Outline 145 Appendix 10 Suggestions for Fielding Tough Audience Questions 147 Appendix 11 Answers to Body Language Quiz 149 Appendix 12 Checklist for Team Presentations 151 Appendix 13 Xavier Consulting Group Public Program Evaluation 153 Appendix 14 Sample Action Plan 155 Appendix 15 Name BINGO 157 Appendix 16 Sample Competency-Based Job Description 159 Appendix 17 Sample Career Matrix 163 Appendix 18 Self Assessment on Emotional Intelligence 165 Bibliography 167 Index 171

8 FIGURES AND TABLES Figures 3.1 Phases of Needs Assessment Process Feedback Process Decision Tree Manager, Payroll, and Benefits Employee Change Input 104 Tables 10.1 Potential Solution Potential Solution to Career Restlessness 103

9 FOREWORD Scott Warrick, jd, mlhr, sphr As I settled into my flight from Columbus, Ohio to Los Angeles, I opened The Emotionally Intelligent Trainer for the first time. I figured I would get a few pages read, then take a nap somewhere over Missouri. However, as I read further and further into the book, I began to see the widespread applicability of what I had in front of me. I skipped my nap. People spend years studying the technical aspects of their professions. They invest tens of thousands of dollars in learning their various crafts, whether they strive to become accountants, lawyers, or engineers. However, rarely do they ever consider the practical aspects of how they might one day destroy their own careers in spite of their sums cum laude status. This career suicide will not be because they were not technically competent. Instead, they will fail simply because they have not matured or evolved to the point they are able to control their emotions or egos. In short, you could be the most brilliant professional in the world or have the best company anyone has ever seen, but if you go around ticking everyone off, you will become an utter failure. This book shows the phenomenal difference between the performance levels of emotionally mature people and those who are not. This book uses example after example to illustrate how the highest performing people and the best performing companies do not necessarily have the smartest or most brilliant people working for them. Instead, time after time, those people who build relationships are the ones who come out on top. It is not even close. To me, the common sense of this concept goes to the core of who we are and why some succeed while others do not. Ego is a good thing, but not if you cannot control it. Likewise, your emotions can also be a great asset, but not if you cannot control them. It reminds me more of whether or not a car is a good thing. Of course, the answer is yes. Our entire society revolves around the automobile. However, just as with emotions and ego, the automobile becomes a destructive force to its owner if it cannot be controlled.

10 xii Foreword This book gets to the basics of why so many marriages in this country fail. One person becomes offended, usually due to a bruised ego, which unleashes a storm of primal uncontrolled violent emotions. The next thing you know, one person has a fork sticking out of his head while the other exclaims, He made me do it. The assaulting spouse then rationalizes away this attempt at murdering the better half by claiming that he had it coming in several different ways. I also see coworkers viciously attacking each other for a variety of reasons, all of which are related to uncontrolled ego or emotions. Coworkers will yell and scream at each other in the most inhumane manner, then justify this primal response by saying something like, You have to understand, I feel very strongly about this topic. (Sure, now I understand why you act like a witch, give or take a consonant.) Uncontrolled ego and emotions explain why employees sabotage their employer. Any rational person knows that if they destroy their employer s product, both the employee and the employer will lose. It is an illogical thing to do. However, emotions take over and employees will actually cut off their own nose just to get some blood on the employer they despise. Irrational? Yes, but it happens all the time. Uncontrolled ego and emotion explains the following. We got the Enron scandal, WorldCom, Adelphia, Tyco, and, of course, Martha. It is why executives, sometimes the chief executive, think they can have sex in the White House. Why Napoleon thought he could take Russia and why Robert E. Lee thought he could march the cream of his army into the union guns at Gettysburg and be successful. American auto is dying. You would expect such behavior to come from little school children, not from the leaders of our age. Unfortunately, this is exactly what your grandma meant when she warned you not to get too big for your britches. Sometimes it is the simplest of lessons that evade us most of all.

11 PREFACE We were talking over lunch about the seminar that Linda had just completed for Sheri s organization. The conversation turned to how much fun it would be to capture some of the lessons learned about this training event for the thousands of people every day who enter into the field of training or, as leaders, are charged with educating others. We both have been leaders in the Human Resources field for over fifteen years as well as adjunct faculty for our local universities. We understand that effective training takes planning and careful execution. The stories, research, and tools in this book are tailored to meet the needs of those thousands of people who feel the weight of the responsibility for education and training in either their vocation or volunteer assignments. We have set about the task of capturing some of the best practices of others as well as sharing our own stories of what went well and what didn t go quite so well. We want you to learn from our successes and our mistakes, as well as from the ideas of the best and brightest leaders and trainers in the country. Our central message is that EQ is just as important as one s IQ as a foundation for success in education and training endeavors. We believe that it s important to develop dimensions of EQ such as interpersonal skills and adaptability in order to be successful over the long term, and we provide you with concrete action steps you can begin today toward that objective.

12 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS We d like to thank the trainers and educators who took the time to complete our best practices survey used as a foundation for this book.