Live Muy by Grant Medford

Transcription

1 Live Muy by Grant Medford What Who When Wear (Props) Customers at a taco restaurant can't simply order a taco because the rules are too hard and change at random. After being thrown out, they meet a taco vendor who has exactly what they need. Themes: Burdens, Life, Needs, Weary Checker, a young, bored male who hates his job. Customer 1, male Customer 2, female Customer 3, male Customer 4, female Vendor/Narrator, Looking eerily similar to a Jesus-type person, but dressed contemporary with apron and hat NOTE: Customers/Checker can be adjusted as male/female with small adjustments to the script. Present Table/counter with register and counter microphone Street vendor cart Wrapped tacos and food bags of various sizes Note: All this can be literal or improvised. Why Matthew 11:28-30 How Time Keep things moving and the energy up. Be sure to have a director or someone watching for blocking purposes. Approximately 7 minutes Skit Guys, Inc. Only original purchaser is granted photocopy permission. All other rights reserved. Skit Guys is a trademark of Skit Guys, Inc. Printed in U.S.A.

2 Narrator: Jesus versus religion. It s a no-brainer, isn t it? We know that Jesus came to give us an abundant life, but we always get tripped up by religion. Instead of running to Jesus for our problems, we complain over Facebook and Twitter. Or we look for the latest book that promises results in 6 steps. We think that if we just give more, attend church more and do more good than bad, then we can fix our issues and fulfill our needs and desires. But, Jesus keeps offering us Life. It s the life we are looking for and the life that brings the deepest joy. So, why do we keep running to the quick fix? Because we are people of the fast food, drive through mentality. Unfortunately, what we find there is just more frustrations and less fulfillment of our deepest needs. (Walks off stage.) Checker enters stage standing in front of a countertop of sorts with register and counter microphone. Customer 1 enters opposite stage and approaches Checker. Checker: (Checker is pleasant, but it s obviously a forced pleasantness.) Welcome to Muy Taco! Thanks for stopping in today. What can I get for you? Cust 1: (Looking over the menu) Yes, I m not sure yet. Checker: (Heavy sigh) Ok, take your time As Customer 1 begins to give their order, Customer 2 enters the restaurant. Cust 1: Ok, I think I ll have the Number 3. Checker: (Speaking to Customer 1) Excuse me, sir. You ll have to wait. This person just walked in and is ready to order. Cust 1: (Surprised by this) Oh Cust 2: (Walks in front of Customer 1 to place her order) Hi! Can I get a number 2, please without special sauce? Checker: Oh sorry. The number 2 doesn t come with special orders or substitutions. Cust 2: Oh well, can I have a number 6 without special sauce? Checker: Absolutely. And what to drink? Cust 2: I ll have a Diet Coke. 2

3 Checker: Oh, we no longer sell Diet Coke. Cust 2: Really?! Ok, I ll have water then. Checker: Sure. That ll be $7.50 (Collects money from Customer 2) Next, please. While this is going on, Customer 1 has moved to the side while Customer 2 orders, but Customer 3 and Customer 4 have entered and are standing behind Customer 2. Customer 1 slides over to place their order. Checker: Sorry sir. You re out of line. This person was in line behind her. Cust 1: What?! You re joking, right?! Checker: (In the classic Bon Qui Qui style) Sir, do not get loud with me. Do. Not. Get. Loud. Customer 1 is obviously fuming, but moves into line behind Customer 4. Customer 3 walks up to the counter. Checker: Yes, sir. Welcome to Muy Taco. What can I get for you today? Cust 3: Um I need 12 tacos. Checker: Sorry sir, there s a limit on tacos per order. Cust 3: Really? Checker: Yes. Cust 3: Ok, how many can I order? Checker: Six, sir. Cust 3: Ok, I have two orders. On the first order I ll take 6 tacos and on the second order, I ll take 6 tacos. (Obviously proud of himself.) Checker: Uh huh. I see what you did there smart. But, no. Only one order per person per day. Cust 3: This is ridiculous! Ok. Fine. Give me six tacos. Checker: Six tacos. And anything to drink? Cust 3: Do you have any Diet soda? Checker: We have Diet Coke. 3

4 Cust 2: What?! You just said you don t sell Diet Coke!! Checker: A few moments ago, we didn t. But, now we do. Cust 2: Well, then I want a Diet Coke! Checker: Sorry, ma am. (Emphasizing this from previously) Only one order per day per person. Cust 2: Oh. My. Gosh. Checker: (Turns to Customer 3) That ll be twenty-five dollars. Cust 3: Twenty-five dollars?! For six tacos and a Diet Coke? But, the menu board says the tacos are only two dollars. That makes the Diet Coke thirteen dollars! Checker: No, the tacos are now $4 a piece. We had to raise the price because we added Diet Coke to the menu. Cust 3: Fine. Whatever. I m in a hurry. Just give them to me. (Gives money to the Checker) Customer 4 approaches counter. Checker: (Especially nice to Customer 4) Welcome to Muy Taco. How can I serve you? Cust 4: I ll have the Taco Salad, please. Checker: One Taco Salad. Anything else? Wait! (Into microphone) Attention customers! For the next 5 minutes, we are offering all our tacos for only 50 cents each. Cust 3: WH?!! You ve got to be kidding me!! Checker: Anything else? Cust 4: Sure. I ll have 2 of your taco specials. Checker: and to drink? Cust 4: Sure. I ll have a sweet tea. Checker: (Flirting) Of course you will. Sweet-tea. (Winks at Customer 4. The other customers are disgusted by all of this and are whispering among themselves.) That ll be ten dollars. 4

5 Just before Checker takes Customer 4 s money, he grabs the microphone again. Checker: Attention, Muy Taco customers. We are now closed. We will no longer be taking or fulfilling any orders at this time. All Customers react and rush the counter. "What?!" "You can't be serious!" Checker: Folks, calm down. Our policy states that Muy Taco must close for exactly 1 hour for all employees to have lunch. All Customers react. "But, it s the lunch hour!" "This is unbelievable!" Checker: Duh. Hey, I didn t make the policy. (Steps from behind the counter and begins to usher customers out the door, each one is arguing and fussing as they exit the restaurant.) We ll be open again in 1 hour. Thanks for coming! Customers are all standing outside the restaurant complaining to each other, when a Jesus-looking Vendor comes by with a food cart. Hi, folks. Can I interest you in some lunch? All: Yes! Yes! Ok, folks! Step right up. Customers push Customer 1 to the front of the line. Cust 1: Oh, thank you, everyone. (To Vendor) Ok, you know, really, I just want 3 tacos and a Diet Coke. Coming up! (Hands order to Customer 1) Four dollars. Next. Cust 2: Cust 2: (Amazed at how fast he completed the order) Wow. Um, Can I get two tacos without sauce and a Diet Coke? Here you go. Three dollars please. That s fast and cheap! Cust 1: (With food in her mouth) and they re really good, too! Who s next? Cust 3: I am. Do you have 12 tacos? 5

6 Sure do. Already made up and bagged up. Here you go. (Hands Customer 3 the bag) Oh, and here s a free Diet Coke with your order. Cust 3: How d you know that s what I wanted to drink? Cust 4: Cust 4: Cust 1: It s my job to know my customers, sir. Next? Do you have Taco Salad? Sure do. And it comes with two free taco specials. Need a drink? Oh, wait. Let me guess Sweet tea? (Obviously a little freaked out) Yes! Here you go. Enjoy. Thank you folks for stopping by. Listen, you ve a gold mine of a business here, sir. You should open up your own place! Yeah I thought about that. But, I just find that keeping things simple and meeting the needs of my customers is more important than buildings and Combo Meals. I can handle each customer, and their special needs, much better this way. Plus, I get to really know my customers and they get to know and trust me. Cust 2: Well, you ve sold all of us! I ll definitely be back! All: Yes! We will, too! Absolutely! (Different customers responds with a different comment at the same time. They exit.) (Speaking to customers) Looking forward to it! (Turns to address audience as narrator) Jesus offers us life, plain and simple. He knows what we need and even surprises us with blessings we didn t even know were available to us. He s less interested in our efforts and more interested in making loyal customers. He offers us Life. So live it as a loyal follower and stop running after the quick and easy fix. You ll be surprised at how joyful and fulfilling His life really is. 6