Conflict Resolution
What is conflict? 1. a struggle or clash between opposing forces; battle 2. a state of opposition between ideas, interests, etc; disagreement or controversy 3. a clash, as between two appointments made for the same time 4. (Psychology) opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible wishes or drives, sometimes leading to a state of emotional tension and thought to be responsible for neuroses conflict. (n.d.) American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. (2011)
Conflict 101: A conflict is more than just a disagreement. It is a situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat (whether or not the threat is real). Conflicts continue to fester when ignored. Because conflicts involve perceived threats to our well-being and survival, they stay with us until we face and resolve them. We respond to conflicts based on our perceptions. Perceptions of the situation are not necessarily an objective review of the facts. Our perceptions are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.
Conflict 101: Conflicts trigger strong emotions. If you aren t comfortable with your emotions or able to manage them in times of stress, you won t be able to resolve conflict successfully. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth. When you re able to resolve conflict in a relationship, it builds trust. You can feel secure knowing your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements. Jeanne Segal, PHD. "Conflict Resolution Skills." : Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into Opportunities. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 May 2016.
Is conflict normal? Normal, healthy organizations will experience their share of conflict. This assists the organization in growth.
5 Conflict Styles Competition Accommodation Compromise Avoidance Collaboration Which one do you use the most?
Competition One s needs are consistently and continually advocated over the needs of others.
Competition When to Utilize Use when the relationship doesn t matter When the issue is more important than the relationship Disadvantages Can strain relationships Uses an aggressive style of communication Conflict may escalate Causes one or all to be losers May lead to covert action
Accommodation It is the complete opposite of competition. People using this style yield their needs to others.
Accommodation When to Utilize Desire for a diplomatic solution When losses can be minimized Preserving the relationship is important Disadvantages Does not generate creative solutions Can cause frustration and resentment Issues unlikely to be resolved
Compromise It is a give and take solution to conflict.
Compromise When to Utilize When a temporary solution is needed People are of equal power Need to find an equal ground Disadvantages People often give something up The real issues will remain unresolved Dealing with conflict becomes harder
Avoidance One of the most common solutions to conflict. Completely ignoring the problem
Avoidance When to Utilize When there is no chance of a positive outcome The risks of confrontation may outweigh the solutions When another party has significantly greater power Disadvantages Decisions made with only one person s input Issues will remain unresolved Dealing with conflict becomes harder
Collaboration Everyone works toward a common goal of solving the problem.
Collaboration When to Utilize Open and honest dialogue between all parties All parties can be active listeners Willingness to accept fault or responsibility Disadvantages Requires a lot more time and energy Being an active listener can be difficult for some Both have to be willing to accept responsibility
Responses to Conflict Emotional Response Verbal Response Physical Response
Emotional Responses Anger Fear Despair Frustration
Verbal Responses Who does he/she think she is? I am the President, not her.
Physical Responses Fight or Flight Crying Violence Leaving
Have an issue with someone? Use the Collaboration Approach
Communication is the key. In person or on the phone. Not via text or email.
Obey the 101% Principle Find the 1% you agree on and give it 100% of your effort.
Check you own attitude. Are you the common denominator? Self Awareness if KEY!
Focus on the solution. Don t get bogged down with fingerpointing.
Let others be heard. Give the benefit of the doubt. Learn to be flexible. Don t be defensive. Don t overreact. Don t avoid the conflict. Welcome the opportunity to resolve a problem.
Mediation
Mediation The role of the mediator: Mediator is often a third party with limited prior knowledge of the situation. Mediator remains unbiased at all time neutral and objective Mediator treats both parties with respect and understanding Mediator helps people work together and is responsible for the process, not the solution.
Mediation Process Open the Session make introductions, state the ground rules, get a commitment from each party to follow the rules Gather Information Focus on Common Interests Create Options Evaluate Options and Choose a Solution Write the Agreement and Close
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