Managing Conflict. How Successful Companies Create

Transcription

1 A Roadmap for Managing Conflict How Successful Companies Create Healthy Team Relationships

2 A Roadmap for Managing Conflict How Successful Companies Create Healthy Team Relationships People naturally see themselves in the light of their intentions, but they measure others according to their actions. John C. Maxwell, #1 New York Times best-selling author, coach, speaker, and international leadership expert who has sold more than 25 million books, including The 5 Levels of Leadership Nobody likes conflict, so everybody avoids it including the managers and team leaders in your company. When our workshop facilitators lead training sessions on conflict management, they often ask how many attendees are experiencing ongoing conflict with someone in their organization. Without fail, nearly every hand goes up. When they ask how many of them have confronted that person, fewer than 5% of those people usually raise their hands. Why is it so difficult for leaders to confront, even when they know they should? It s the combination of a lot of factors, really. They fear being disliked, misunderstood, or rejected. They fear the risk of the unknown what might happen if? 2

3 They worry that whatever they do may just make things worse. And let s face it: few leaders have been taught healthy confrontation skills. Forbes contributor Kathy Caprino defines conflict not as being aggressive or angry, but as the act of facing something or someone that needs to be addressed head on directly and proactively. 1 Another Forbes writer Mike Myatt, adds, It [conflict] will find you whether you look for it or not. The ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of conflict, and to be able to bring swift and just resolution to conflict will serve you well as a leader the inability to do so may well be your downfall. 2 When managers and leaders in a company don t address conflict in a healthy way, it can hurt productivity and employee retention. The workplace numbers are unsettling at best: 25% 10% 33% 25% of employees said that avoiding conflict led to sickness or absence from work. Equally alarming, nearly 10% reported that workplace conflict led to project failure. And more than 33% said that conflict resulted in someone leaving the company, either through firing or quitting. These negatives can translate into real financial losses for your company. Many businesses try to deal with conflict, but inefficiently. An article from Inc.com revealed that office workers spend more than 2 ½ hours per week trying to resolve conflict, creating yearly losses of $359 billion for U.S. companies. Even in the face of uncomfortable statistics, however, Myatt assures the overwhelmed leader, Don t fear conflict; embrace it it s your job. If managers know they will encounter conflict, they should prepare to manage it well. No leader can avoid conflict entirely, but they can decide how to deal with it. They can even learn how to leverage tough situations intentionally to better connect with their team. If leaders learn to travel efficiently and positively through workplace confrontation at this level, employees won t follow them because they have to, but because they want to. That s called permission leadership. 3

4 Make the Right Diagnosis If a doctor treated a patient without making a diagnosis, he or she would be accused of negligence or even malpractice. A doctor who takes action based on a false diagnosis might do even more harm. To correctly treat conflict, leaders need to find the root cause; assumptions will lead you astray every time. Harvard Business Review contributor, Ben Dattner warns, The real reasons for conflict are a lot harder to raise and resolve because they are likely to be complex, nuanced, and politically sensitive. For example, people s interests may truly be opposed; roles and levels of authority may not be correctly defined or delineated; there may be real incentives to compete rather than to collaborate; and there may be little to no accountability or transparency about what people do or say. 5 He continues to explain, When two coworkers create a safe and imaginary set of explanations for their conflict ( My coworker is a micromanager, or My coworker doesn t care whether errors are corrected ), neither of them has to challenge or incur the wrath of others in the organization. A correct diagnosis of conflict on any team begins with questioning the assumptions people bring to the table about the other person. The High Price of Conflict $ Of course, a leader s job doesn t end after diagnosis. In fact, letting conflicts simmer, or incorrectly addressing them, can have long-lasting impact on a team and the company. Consider these jaw-dropping facts about the high price of conflict in the workplace: The typical manager spends 25-40% of his or her time dealing with workplace conflicts. That s one to two days of every work week. 6 Research shows that 60-80% of all difficulties in organizations come from strained relationships between employees, not from deficits in individual employee s skill or motivation. 7 4

5 Workers who must take time off work because of stress, anxiety, or a work conflict will be off the job for about 21 days. 8 Productivity losses related to personal and family health problems cost U.S. employers $1,685 per employee per year, or $225.8 billion annually. 9 More than 50% of employers report having been sued by an employee. 10 The national average compensatory award in employment practice liability cases rose from $133,691 in 1997 to $250,000 in It costs 150% of the typical position salary to replace the employee in it. 12 Organizations adopting conflict resolution processes, like mediation and arbitration, report 50-80% reductions in litigation costs. 13 The Most Popular Responses to Conflict Most leaders don t naturally respond well to conflict. When they see it brewing, they tend to choose one of the following responses that they think will be less painful at least in the short-term: Win at all costs. It s like a shootout at the OK Corral. It s quick, brutal, and destructive. Pretend it doesn t exist. Even if they hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil, evil will still exist. It will simply grow unsupervised. Whine about it. Playing the victim doesn t cure conflict. It just irritates everybody on the team. Keep score. People who keep a record of wrongs can never start fresh. And nobody can ever truly get even. Pull rank. Using position never really solves conflict. It merely postpones it. White flag it. Quitting is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 5

6 The Confrontation Principle So how can managers avoid these failed responses to managing conflict and guide their teams to handle it in a healthy way? Can they truly move their departments to the next level in the midst of frustrating conflict? Yes, they can. Conflict success begins with The Confrontation Principle: Caring for People Should Precede Confronting People. The best way for leaders to show they care is to truly seek to understand other people. People respond to conflict in a variety of ways, though they tend to default to what feels natural to them based on their own personalities and strengths. Some treat conflict as a competition. Some just go along with whatever the other person wants at least on the surface. Although it is important for leaders to follow the processes, protocols, and confrontation models established by your human resources departments, the following advice will equip leaders to turn confrontation into healthy conversations in your company. A Road Map for Healthy Confrontation 1. Confront a person only if you care about that person. It is more productive to go into a confrontation keeping the other person s interests in mind. If you attempt to ensure that the other person wins first, you know you have the most beneficial perspective. 2. Meet together as soon as possible. When conflict arises, human nature is inclined to avoid it and procrastinate regarding resolution. The reality is, that by putting off confrontation, the situation can only deteriorate further. It s also important NOT to store a file in the Cloud with past hurts or transgressions and then give the person a history lesson. Whenever possible, have the discussion face-to-face. 6

7 3. First seek understanding, not necessarily agreement. The person who gives an opinion before he or she understands is human, but the person who gives a judgment before he or she understands is a fool. The truth is, you cannot reach understanding if your focus is on yourself. 4. Outline the issue. Be positive, describe your perceptions, state how this situation makes you feel, and explain why this is important to you. Engaging in this process without emotional heat or bitterness is essential. 5. Encourage a response. Try to build a dialogue be sure to let the other person talk while you actively listen. Maxwell talks about the following observations when confronting people: 50% of the time people don t realize there s a problem. 30% of the time they realize there s a problem, but they don t know how to solve it. 20% of the time they recognize the problem and don t want to fix it. The good news? A solution can be had 80% of the time merely by engaging and seeking a response. 6. Agree to an action plan. Be sure the plan clearly identifies the issue and spells out concrete steps that will be taken. The action plan should include a commitment by both parties to put the issue to rest once resolved. Be sure to get the plan written down so that if things don t go as discussed, the document can be used as a proof and reference resource. Dealing with conflict in a healthy way doesn t hurt relationships in your organization; it strengthens the bond between people on teams. But it all starts with genuine concern for other people. Successful confrontation usually changes both people, not just one. - John C. Maxwell 7

8 1 Kathy Caprino, 5 Critical Steps to Fearless Confrontation, Forbes.com, November 4, 2013, 2 Mike Myatt, 5 Keys of Dealing with Workplace Conflict, Forbes.com, February 22, 2012, 3 Jennifer Lawler, The Real Cost of Workplace Conflict, Entrepreneur.com, June 21, 2010, 4 Graham Winfrey, The Shocking Cost of Workplace Conflicts (Infographic), Inc.com, August 28, 2014, 5 Ben Dattner, Most Work Conflicts Aren t Due to Personality, Hbr.org, May 20, 2014, 6 Washington Business Journal, May Daniel Dana, Managing Differences: How to Build Better Relationships at Work and Home, 2005, 4th ed.; Barbara J. Kreisman, Insights into Employee Motivation, Commitment and Retention, US Bureau of Labor Statistics 9 Stewart et al., Society for Human Resource Management survey, cited in USA Today (Workers win more lawsuits, awards, March 27, 2001). 11 JuryVerdictResearch.com, LRP Publications, Drake Beam Morin, Thomas Stipanovvich, ADR and the Vanishing Trial : The Growth and Impact of Alternative Dispute Resolution,