Use this checklist to guide communication in a cross-cultural mentoring relationship. Check your intention. What do you want from this relationship?

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1 4-4 The Mentor's Guide EXERCSE 2.3 ntercultural Communication Checklist Use this checklist to guide communication in a cross-cultural mentoring relationship. 1. Prepare Research your rnentee's culture before you meet. Check your intention. What do you want from this relationship?. Clarify the goals of the mentoring relationship. 2. Remember Use active listening skills (that is,clarifying and confirming). Show interest, attention, and empathy. Respect differences in learning pace, and respect silence. Experiment with different approaches, questions, and expressions. Suspend judgment. Before concluding on any point. clarify meaning and support connection using descriptor questions (who, what. when, how, how much, how many). Express your need to think about something and get back to the person so that appropriate reflection and research might be pursued. Be patient. Accept differences. 3. Observe Your own assumptions, biases, and stereotypes. Consistency and relevance in responses and feedback to make sure that adequate communication is taking place. Your own values and the underlying contrasting values that might be operating in the relationship. Any discomfort, disconnects, or feelings that might be at play. 4. Show Respect. Reliability. Expertise and knowledge. A learner-centered focus. Source: Sandvik, Adapted with permission. Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jessey-Bass.

2 Working the Ground 45 EXERCSE 2.4 Cross-Cultural Mentoring Skills nventory nstructions: For each skill in column 1,indicate how comfortable you are in using that skill by checking one of the three grids in column 2: very comfortable (V), moderately comfortable (M), or uncomfortable (U).ln column 3, identify an example that illustrates a concrete situation when you were either comfortable or uncomfortable using the skill. nsert a check mark in column 4 for each skill that you feel you need to improve to develop a comfort level. Once you have completed the skill inventory, rank your overall comfort level on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the most comfortable and 1 being the most uncomfortable. Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4 v Needs Skill M U Examples Work - Reflective listening (using the skills of attending, clarifying, and confirming) - - -,-- Checking for understanding Maintaining cultural self-awareness Providing and receiving feedback Maintaining global perspective Reading between the lines (keying into feelings) f r ,- Suspending judgment Maintaining emotional versatility Exercising cultural flexibility Creating culturally appropriate networking opportunities Modifying communication style to accommodate cultural differences, Sensitivity to varying cultural perceptions to time, space, authority, and protocol i Overall Comfort Level Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

3 46 The Mentor's Guide EXERCSE 2.5 Questions for Self-Reflection on Cross-Cultural Mentoring Relationships nstructions: Make several copies of this worksheet. Answer each of the questions as candidly and fully as you can. Periodically complete this form again, and compare your answers over time. Notice any changes. f you are engaged in a cross-cultural mentoring relationship, you should notice positive change each time you complete this self-reflection. f you are unable to complete these questions to your satisfaction, perhaps you should reevaluate your involvement in a cross-cultural mentoring relationship. 1. Number of hours have devoted this month specifically aimed at learning another culture: 2. How am furthering my learning (for example, by taking a trip, attending a workshop, coaching): 3. What learned: 4. Mistakes am making and learning from: 5. What am doing to modify my communication style to accommodate cultural differences: 6. What am doing to read nonverbal messages (such as pauses and silences): 7. What do when find myself in a culturally inappropriate situation: 8. How am doing at really suspending judgment in my mentoring relationship: What helps me is: What gets in the way is: Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

4 110 The Mentor's Guide EXERCSE 5.3 Mentoring Partnership Agreement Template nstructions: This is a sample of the mentoring partnership agreement. Use this template after completing the negotiating conversations discussed earlier in this chapter. We have agreed on the following goals and objectives as the focus of this mentoring relationship: We have discussed the protocols by which we will work together, develop, and, in that same spirit of partnership, collaborate on the development of a work plan.ln order to ensure that our relationship is a mutually rewarding and satisfying experience for both of us,we agree to: 1. Meet regularly. Our specific schedule of contact and meetings, including additional meetings, is as follows: 2. Look for multiple opportunities and experiences to enhance the mentee's learning. We have identified, and will commit to, the following specific opportunities and venues for learning: 3. Maintain confidentiality of our relationship. Confidentiality for us means Honor the ground rules we have developed for the relationship. Our ground rules will be... S. Provide regular feedback to each other and evaluate progress.we will accomplish this by... We agree to meet regularly until we accomplish our predefined goals or for a maximum of (specifytime frame]. At the end of this period of time, we will review this agreement, evaluate our progress,and reacha learning conclusion. The relationship will then be considered complete. f we choose to continue our mentoring partnership, we may negotiate a basisfor continuation, so long as we have stipulated mutually agreedon goals. n the event one of us believes it is no longer productive for us to continue or the learning situation is compromised, we may decide to seek outside intervention or conclude the relationship. n this event, we agree to use closure as a learning opportunity. Mentor's Signature and Date Mentee's Signature and Date Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jessey-Bass.

5 Planting Seeds ] 11 EXERCSE 5.4 Streamlined Mentoring Partnership Agreement Template nstructions:this is a more streamlined mentoring partnership agreement. Use this template after completing the negotiating conversations presented earlier in this chapter. Goals: Learning Outcomes: Ground Rules: Parameters for the Relationship: Steps to Achieving the Goals and Learning Outcomes: Time Frame: Checkpoints: Mentor's Signature and Date Mentee's Signature and Date Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass,

6 112 The Mentor's Guide EXHBT 5.5 Sample Mentoring Partnership Agreement We have agreed on the following goals and objectives as the focus of this mentoring relationship: To develop a leadership career pathway to prepare the mentee to assume a significant high-profile leadership position within the community To assist mentee in depth analysis of leadership strengths and weaknesses To create a leadership development plan for mentee To introduce mentee to best-practice leadership experiences We have discussed the protocols by which we will work together, develop, and, in that same spirit of partnership, collaborate on the development of a work plan. n order to ensure that our relationship is a mutually rewarding and satisfying experience for both of us, we agree to: 1. Meet regularly. Our specific schedule of contact and meetings, including additional meetings, is as follows: We will meet twice a month and be in contact by telephone or at least once a week. 2. Look for multiple opportunities and experiences to enhance the mentee's learning. We have identified, and will commit to, the followinq specific opportunities and venues for learning: Mentee will attend board meetings as mentor's guest. We will meet prior to each meeting and debrief following each meeting. Mentee will attend a nonprofit institute with mentor. Mentee and mentor will attend community leadership forum meetings. 3. Maintain confidentiality of our relationship. Confidentiality for us means that what we discuss remains between us. Mentor and mentee will agree ahead of time if specific information is to be shared with anyone else. 4. Honor the ground rules we have developed for the relationship. Our ground rules will be: We will meet after business hours. Mentee will assume responsibility for confirming meetings. Mentee will pay for own expenses. Mentee will maintain an ongoing journal of mentoring experience. At the conclusion of each meeting, we will target topics for discussion at the next session. S. Provide regular feedback to each other and evaluate progress. We will accomplish this by: Reviewing learning goals once a month, discussing progress, and checking in with each other regularly for the first month to make sure our individual needs are being met in the relationship, and periodically thereafter. We agree to meet regularly until we have accomplished our predefined goals or for a maximum of eighteen months. At the end of this period of time, we will review this agreement, evaluate our progress, and reach a learning conclusion. The relationship then will be considered complete. f we choose to continue our mentoring partnership, we may negotiate a basis for continuation, so long as we have stipulated the mutually agreed-on goals. n the event one of us believes it is no longer productive for us to continue or the learning situation is compromised, we may decide to seek outside intervention or conclude the relationship. n this event we agree to use closure as a learning opportunity. Mentor's Signature and Date Mentee's Signature and Date Zachary, L. (2000). The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.