Advocating for Yourself Sarah Evans Senior Consultant EvansSa@advisory.com
When Is the Next Time You Need to Advocate for Yourself? 6 At Work Meeting with your manager E.g., project timelines, task turnarounds Getting support from a peer E.g., various asks, collaboration Talking with a senior leader E.g., saying no, expectation setting Giving a presentation E.g., trainings, checkpoint meetings Working with a vendor E.g., getting information, various asks Securing a resource E.g., staff, technology Making a proposal E.g., improvement ideas, new projects Outside of work Roommate situation E.g., who washes dishes, who pays x bill Rental agreement E.g., do we get our full deposit back Dining E.g., where we go for dinner Family E.g., which holidays to come home for
7 Reasons Why We Don t Advocate for Ourselves I don t want to rock the boat I don t want to look incompetent I m not sure what I want/need Other people might judge my idea Nobody listens/takes my input
8 Self-Advocacy a Need-to-Have Skill
9 How to Advocate for Yourself Three Complementary Tactics 1 Ask for Help 2 Say No 3 Pitch an Idea? X Achieve the Same Goals: Set boundaries with leaders, colleagues, and direct reports Balance expectations about your capacity and workload Meet your organizational, career, and personal priorities
10 Identify What You Really Need Think Creatively, Beyond Staffing and Funding Material Support Informational Support Emotional Support Staff Money Technology Templates Collaboration Expertise Facts/information Feedback Training Buy-in Listening Productive venting Humor Perspective Advice Commonly requested Commonly overlooked
11 Ask the Right Person for Help Consider Expertise from Across Your Organization Senior Leaders Counterparts Predecessors Other Facilities Other Departments Technicians Administrators Educators 50% of needed support provided by secondary networks Source: Hampton K, et. al, Social Networking Sites and Our Lives, Pew Research Center, June 16, 2011; Simmons M, How Asking for Favors Can Build Your Relationships, Forbes, September 11, 2013; Talent Development research and analysis.
12 Decide How You ll Ask A Approach Directive Make a clear, specific request with details Language Can you do this for me? I need a favor from you. Will you help me with this? When to Use When you know what you need and think the other person will likely say yes B C Inclusive Ask for advice or input on a clearly defined problem Exploratory Ask for insight into a vague problem Do you have any ideas? What have you done before? What would you do? Can you help me figure this out? I don t know what I need yet can you help me think this through? I don t know where to start what do you think? When you know what you need but your request will be better received if the other person volunteers help When you do not know what you need
13 How to Advocate for Yourself Three Complementary Tactics 1 Ask for Help 2 Say No 3 Pitch an Idea? X Achieve the Same Goals: Set boundaries with leaders, colleagues, and direct reports Balance expectations about your capacity and workload Meet your organizational, career, and personal priorities
14 Say No to More, but Not to Everything How Frequently You Say No Not Enough The Sweet Spot Too Much People asking for your help assume you are always available You accept too much and become overwhelmed People asking for your help are not certain if you will say yes or no They recognize you are aware of their needs and want to help fulfill them People normally asking for help assume you re too busy and stop asking entirely You miss out on opportunities to contribute Source: Flynn, F.J. and Vanessa K.B. Lake. If You Need Help, Just Ask: Underestimating Compliance with Direct Requests for Help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1): 128-143. 2008. Talent Development research and analysis.
15 How to Say No Productively Talking Points to Say No Clearly State Your Case Acknowledge Others Needs Offer Alternatives Prepare for Pushback Clearly indicate your no respectfully, and as soon as possible Show you understand why the request is important to the other person Provide options such as a different timeline, person, or method to help meet the need Think ahead of how to respond to questions about scheduling, effort, and other priorities I don t have capacity this week to take anything else on I know you re working on a tight deadline and need some extra help I think Jane has capacity this week you may want to check with her This week is just really packed for me. I have more data to process for Sherrie s report
16 No Is Not the Only Option Three Ways to Say No Pros Cons No Gives the most definitive answer May feel most uncomfortable Yes, but Allows you to negotiate your level of involvement Not as good as a no if you really don t have the time Not now Allows you to protect your time and revisit the issue later Can prolong the obligation
17 How to Advocate for Yourself Three Complementary Tactics 1 Ask for Help 2 Say No 3 Pitch an Idea? X Achieve the Same Goals: Set boundaries with leaders, colleagues, and direct reports Balance expectations about your capacity and workload Meet your organizational, career, and personal priorities
18 Recognizing Communication Archetypes Identify The Person s Preferred Style
19 Providing the Facts Seeks confirmed, valid data or facts in support of arguments Responds to concisely articulated ideas Apt to question underlying assumptions
20 Explaining the How Concerned with the interrelation between different activities Focused on sequence of next steps Seeks details about the practical impact and logistics for proposed ideas
21 Emphasizing the Why Responds to connections to big picture goals Interested in how ideas further priorities
22 Considering Who Is Impacted Seeks consensus across impacted groups and stakeholders Assesses the impact of decisions on current and future relationships Interested in individual motivations
Craft the Strongest Pitch Possible Before the Conversation During the Conversation Articulate Your Purpose What is your core message? What is the purpose of the conversation you are planning? What do you hope to accomplish by the end of the conversation? Prepare Talking Points for Multiple Styles What data or facts back up your idea? How would it be accomplished? How does it support priorities? Why is it important to you or others? Secure Next Steps What other information would be helpful? Do you have any concerns that I can address? How can I help advance leaders consideration of this idea? 2015 The Advisory Board Company advisory.com
Tools to Help You Practice Self-Advocacy Available for download on the webinar landing page. 2015 The Advisory Board Company advisory.com
Three Ways to Practice Self-Advocacy 1 Identify one task on your plate that could benefit from help from a colleague, and reach out to them this week. 2 At the end of this week, review your workload and identify one thing that you should have said no to, either because it s a low priority or because you didn t really have time for it. Commit to saying no to a similar request in the future. 3 Ask for something you want from your supervisor whether its time off, or a stretch opportunity, or a process improvement idea you d like to try. 2015 The Advisory Board Company advisory.com
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