Using Key Principles to Build Rapport Were you ever interviewed by someone who had little regard for your feelings? What did this person say or do, and how did you feel? How open were you with this person, especially about sharing situations in which you made a mistake or failed to achieve expected results? Some people think it s a good idea to make candidates feel uncomfortable or ill at ease in an interview. However, candidates who are comfortable with and feel good about the interview and interviewer tend to provide more useful, in-depth information about their past experiences, including negative or sensitive information. The key to helping candidates feel comfortable is to build rapport with them, starting as early in the interview as possible. Two techniques are particularly helpful in building rapport Maintain or enhance self-esteem and Listen and respond with empathy. They re called Key Principles because they are key to creating an open, supportive climate in interviews. They re also easy to use and take very little time, which is important because of the limited time you have in an interview to help the candidate feel comfortable. Meeting Personal Needs It s not uncommon for someone seeking a job to be: Insecure about their qualifications. Vulnerable. Hypercritical about their performance in the interview. Sensitive about any negative information they provide. People in this situation can have very strong personal needs, such as the need to: Be treated with dignity and respect. Feel important. Be seen as competent. Development Dimensions International, Inc., 2009. 1
Because your objective in the interview is to gather as much information as you can, it s easy to let the interview turn into an interrogation and to ignore these personal needs. When you do that, the best questioning techniques will fail because the candidate will refuse to open up. However, when you meet personal needs using the Key Principles, you put the candidate at ease, build rapport, and encourage him or her to respond openly and provide complete information, including sensitive and negative information. Building rapport with candidates also helps make a good impression on them, leaving them with the feeling that they were treated fairly. As a result, successful candidates are more likely to accept job offers, and unsuccessful candidates are more likely to still feel good about your organization. Maintain or Enhance Self-esteem Maintaining or enhancing candidates self-image how they feel about themselves is key to building rapport. When you use this skill, you meet people s needs to feel respected, competent, and important. In an interview you can do this by: Complimenting the candidate. Reassuring the candidate that it s OK to talk about problems and mistakes. Compliment the Candidate You ll have several opportunities in an interview to enhance a candidate s self-esteem. Compliment the candidate on impressive experiences and accomplishments and when he or she responds well to your questions. Be on the lookout for these opportunities, but compliment only when you sincerely mean it and when you can cite a specific accomplishment or response. Following are examples of what an interviewer might say in both situations: Experience/Accomplishment Getting a master s degree from a tough school like that is quite an accomplishment. You must be proud. It sounds like you did a great job of reorganizing those files. Response During Interview Good example, Jan very specific and to the point. That s just the kind of information I need. Thanks for giving such a complete picture of that project. Development Dimensions International, Inc., 2009. 2
Minimize Negative Information Because you ll be asking about errors, difficulties, or setbacks, you need to make it safe and acceptable for candidates to provide this information. You can do that by minimizing (or rationalizing) negative or sensitive information you get in an interview. This is the maintain in Maintain or enhance self-esteem sending candidates the message that no one is perfect and that it s OK to reveal negative information. Candidates who feel comfortable sharing this information are more willing to provide an honest, balanced picture of their past performance. You ll use this technique: Before asking a question that seeks sensitive or negative information. After the candidate provides sensitive or negative information. Using this technique before asking a negative question is easy because most planned behavioral questions designed to collect sensitive or negative information include wording to minimize the negative impact of answering the question. For example: We ve all made decisions we weren t happy with. Tell me about a decision you made like that. Sometimes we all find ourselves trying to get out from behind too much work. Tell me about a time like that for you. During the interview, as you devise your own questions that seek negative or sensitive information, remember to phrase them similarly to the planned questions that seek negative information. Minimizing negative information after a candidate gives it can be more challenging because you make these statements spontaneously. However, it s a technique you re familiar with; we all use it to maintain the self-esteem of coworkers, friends, and family. For example: Candidate 1: I tried to help them settle their differences, but I guess I didn t do a very good job of persuading them to hear each other out. Interviewer 1: That would have been a tough situation for anybody, especially for a new team leader. Candidate 2: I wasn t very happy with how I handled that situation. It eroded trust between our groups. It took some time to get it back. Interviewer 2: Even though that wasn t the right approach, it sounds like you worked hard after that to put things right. Development Dimensions International, Inc., 2009. 3
Listen and Respond with Empathy Responding with empathy means showing you ve heard and understood the candidate s feelings and the situation that caused those feelings. This Key Principle builds rapport because using it sends the message that what the candidate has to say is important and that you understand what he or she is saying and feeling. This skill is especially useful when a candidate expresses strong negative feelings, such as frustration, resentment, or anger. You ll want to defuse those feelings, which can bog down an interview and, if allowed to continue, make the candidate less willing or able to respond openly. You can empathize with a candidate s positive feelings too. Sharing in a candidate s positive feelings is another form of empathy and is very effective in helping you connect with the candidate. The following situations illustrate listening and responding with empathy: Candidate 1: Two days before the deadline and they tell me the project s been canceled after I put in all those extra hours and did all that extra work. I was so frustrated. I wanted to walk out and never come back. Interviewer 1: Nothing makes you more frustrated than finding out that your time s been wasted, especially when you ve worked so hard. Candidate 2: What a day that was finding out that I d been promoted and that I had also landed the biggest sale of my life. Interviewer 2: Two major wins in one day. It sounds like that was exciting. Tips for Building Rapport Don t overdo the compliments. Compliment only when warranted. Keep your compliments short, specific, and to the point. Try to compliment candidates in the opening and closing. Compliments in the opening set the tone for the interview. Ending with a compliment helps get candidates through the emotional letdown or anxiety many feel at the end of an intense interview. While you can t tell candidates how they did, you can give them a sense of a job well done in the interview. For example: It s great talking with someone with lots of experience. I want to thank you for doing such a good job of sharing your experiences with me. Development Dimensions International, Inc., 2009. 4
Minimizing negative information doesn t mean minimizing the number of negatives you seek in the interview; it means minimizing the impact on the candidate of providing those negatives. Sometimes, the only way to maintain self-esteem is to change the subject. When it s clear that a line of questioning might damage a candidate s self-esteem, it s best to stop short of pinning the candidate down to specifics and redirect the discussion. When possible, collect enough information to understand the situation and result, but don t force the candidate to call it out as a mistake. When a candidate can t recall or doesn t have the information you re requesting, take a second to maintain the person s self-esteem before moving on. The candidate might see this inability to come up with something as a mistake, so you need to let him or her know that coming up with specific examples can be difficult. To respond with empathy, you don t have to agree with or share the candidate s feelings nor have experienced the situation. You only have to accurately reflect the candidate s feelings and the situation causing them. Statements such as That must have been tough to take and Sounds like that really made your day show empathy without saying that you have experienced the same situations. Empathize with the candidate s positive feelings as well as negative ones. It s easy to fall into repeating the same adjective good example, good move on your part, lots of good experience. To prevent this, relate your Key Principle statements to the candidate s situation. For example, instead of saying, Good example, state specifically why it s good: Very concise description of what you did on the project. Thanks. If you do this, your Key Principle statements will be more varied and have stronger impact. Development Dimensions International, Inc., 2009. 5