Mentoring Essentials Published by Pansophix Online 22 Torquay Road, Chelmsford, Essex, CM1 6NF, England Written by Charlotte Mannion This edition published September 2011 (a) Copyright Pansophix Ltd. All rights reserved. ISBN 978-1-906460-94-5 Page 2
The Essentials series is designed for senior managers who want a quick refresher on a topic they re not involved with on a regular basis. Use the links below to quickly navigate the document. Navigation Introduction and types of mentor Important qualities and skills for a mentor The Mentoring Life Cycle Communication Skills Using the G.R.O.W. model Beginning the mentoring relationship Ending the mentoring relationship Seven tips for being a good mentor Ongoing Development Useful Reading Feedback About the Author Page 3
Introduction Mentoring essentials is written for experienced managers who want a quick reminder of the skills essential to successful mentoring. It provides a brief overview of mentoring and what it is and isn t, a reminder of the roles you may adopt whilst mentoring together with a list of the skills required to be an effective mentor. The word mentoring came from the story in Homer s Odyssey when Odysseus left the upbringing of his son to his trusted teacher and friend Mentor. Nowadays mentoring is used by organisations which want to support potential high flyers, by business owners wanting an adviser and confidante and by schools to help youngsters who may be struggling to keep up with their peers. Mentoring is defined by The European Mentoring Centre as offline help given by one person to another to make significant transitions in knowledge, work or thinking. To be an effective mentor you should be... Experienced in business matters Able to give quality time A good listener Able to motivate and inspire Open minded and trustworthy Have a sense of humour. Mentors come in different guises using different styles... The Advocate mentor - has good networking skills and the enthusiasm to help the mentee to meet the right people. The Teacher Mentor - has the knowledge of the mentee s sector and the skills required to succeed. In this role you have the ability to put ideas across to the mentee in a way that helps the mentee understand and learn from your knowledge and experience. The Supporter mentor - enjoys nurturing his/her mentees. You will delight in helping your mentees to explore their thoughts and feelings and to assist them in finding their own solutions. Page 4
The Critical Friend mentor works best in a challenging environment. You will love playing devil s advocate and challenging your mentees thinking. This type of mentor uses great questions and may push their mentees to really examine their motives for developing their career. Whatever approach you choose, to be successful a mentoring relationship must be built on trust. You should be all of these at some time or other... A sounding board and good listener A giver of encouragement A critical friend A source of emotional support A confidant A source of knowledge. Back Important qualities and skills for a mentor Self awareness. How you feel in the moment. You have a realistic assessment of your own abilities and well grounded self confidence. Self regulation. You are able to manage your own emotions so they facilitate rather than interfere with the task in hand. Motivation. You are able to take the initiative, to improve and persevere in the face of setbacks. Empathy. You are able to sense what others are feeling. Social skills. You are able to handle emotions in relationships well and accurately read social situations and networks. Back The Mentoring Life cycle Matching (the right mentor for the mentee) Getting together - contracting Getting to know each other Developing trust Working together Ending the relationship Parting or developing a different kind of relationship e.g. friendship Back Page 5
Communication skills There are three key techniques... Questioning. The ability to ask useful questions... Open ended questions starting with How and What Probing questions often starting with Why Closed questions leading to Yes or No answers to clarify understanding Reflective questions to check out what you have heard. Listening. Listen to your mentee... Without interruption Without taking notes Allowing silence Without sharing your own experiences. Feedback. The ability to give unbiased feedback by... creating a contract with your mentee to agree to have open discussions about issues which will acknowledge feelings as well focusing on the behaviour not the person checking understanding so neither you or your mentee is left confused or angry. Back Using the G. R. O. W. model This model provides an excellent framework which can be understood by both the mentor and the mentee for the basis of your discussion. Goal Start by identifying what you want to achieve in the session. Once that is clear move on to discuss the present situation or reality. Reality - What is the current situation? What is happening, how does it impact on others/resources? Options - What are the options? Having more than one is helpful. If the mentee is struggling to identify one, you may be able to propose some thoughts of your own. Way forward - What will you actually do? A good question at this stage is to encourage your mentee to grade on a scale of 1 to 5 how likely they are to act on their decision. Back Page 6
Beginning the mentoring relationship Agree objectives Agree confidentiality Agree what you both want Diarise meetings well in advance Prepare overall plan Both prepare various questions Maintain frequent contact a little and often in the early stages Take time to get to know each other Decide early on if you believe the chemistry is right or not Listen both you and your mentee Be enthusiastic go with the positive Get the first meeting right Establish rapport common ground, experiences Explore your mentee s thoughts on his/her personal objectives Agree the expectation of both sides and ground rules Start to establish long term objectives and milestones Decide on any actions for period until next meeting. Your role is to... Help your mentee find his/her own solutions Encourage your mentee to drive the relationship Meet your mentee regularly Have clear objectives for each meeting Deal with short term problems and long term development Support, listen and challenge your mentee Demonstrate both enthusiasm and patience Provide conceptual thinking and vision. What might you talk about in your mentoring meetings? Work Related issues Career Development Time Management (e.g. Work/Life balance) Resilience Personal Issues Domestic Issues Back Page 7
Ending the mentoring relationship May occur when... You have achieved the purpose of the relationship You have reached the end of the agreed period You and your mentee don t work well together You or your mentee moves location Or, the relationship may continue in an informal way This is the time for honesty and for celebration. Back Seven tips for being a good mentor 1. Share your knowledge Becoming a mentor is a worthwhile and rewarding experience. A mentor is usually someone who has talked the talk and walked the walk. Now it is time for you to use that experience and share it with others. 2. Be Productive Start as you mean to go on. Arrange to meet up with your mentee on a regular basis. Do get to know each other. You need to clearly establish your role and how you will work with the mentee. Ensure the goals of the mentee are set and work towards them. 3. Show you are a good listener The importance of being a good listener cannot be stressed enough. Do not butt in when your mentee is talking, show respect. Let him/her finish. Most of all, be actively interested in what he/she says or does this will gain his/her respect. 4. Treat meetings as confidential You want your mentee to trust you and that will be totally destroyed if you start to tell other colleagues about what has been discussed in your meetings. Whatever the mentee tells you, no matter how juicy it is, do not disclose it to your colleagues. Page 8
5. Hold back There is a right way and a wrong way of giving advice. If there is a considerable age gap between you and your mentee there is a temptation to tell your mentee how they should resolve a certain situation. But if he/she is to truly learn how to solve his/her own problems and issues you should simply guide him/her through a series of techniques that can help him/her come to a decision. 6. Monitor your mentee s progress However much you enjoy the company of your mentee, you cannot be his/her mentor forever. To ensure that you do not overstay your welcome or even his/her dependence on you, set a date where you can review the progress after 6 months. This not only helps you both to see what has been achieved, it also helps you to gauge how long you will need to continue. 7. Concerns If you have any concerns about what the mentee is telling you or are simply stuck with the relationship take the issue to another mentor. This will give you the space to reflect on the issue and gain some clarity and direction. Back Ongoing development Continuing professional development (CPD) is crucial and in taking up development opportunities you set a good example to your mentees. A number of Institutes offer Mentoring guidance, courses and many Universities are now offering post graduate mentor qualifications. A quick Google search will reveal all. Back Useful Reading Everyone needs a Mentor, Fostering Talent at Work, by David Clutterbuck published by CIPD ISBN 0-85292-461-5 And finally you can check out your listening skills here and identify any ongoing development needs. Good luck and Happy Mentoring Back Page 9
Feedback As we are always trying to improve our Essentials series we would appreciate any feedback you can give us on Mentoring Essentials. Please click here to access our online feedback form. If we use your feedback to improve Mentoring Essentials we will email you a copy of the updated version. You can access lots of free tips and tools at 247freetips.com. Back About the Author Charlotte Mannion, author of Mentoring Essentials, A Useful Guide to Mentoring and A Useful Guide to Public Speaking runs the communications consultancy Quicklearn. She is a practising mentor as well as an executive business coach. Back Page 10