Mentor and Mentee Tool Kit Page 1
Mentoring Overview Benefits of Mentoring to the Mentor / Mentee and Organisation: Benefits to Organisation Strengthened capacity Eased transition periods for new members Attraction and retention of members Creation of alliances and partnerships Enhanced commitment of members to the organization Creation of a culture of organizational citizenship Enhanced leadership capacity within the organization. Succession planning: Mentees become mentors and leaders Alliances with decision makers are created Benefits to Mentors Professional development Increased confidence Reflective thinking Learning from mentees about new information and trends Enhanced career and personal satisfaction Contribution to discipline and next generation Enhanced managerial skills Enhanced leadership skills Inspirational and rejuvenating effect of interaction with enthusiastic mentee Benefits to Mentees Establishment of networks Enhanced career development and opportunities Enhanced sense of security and reduced stress Skill and knowledge development Enhanced insight into organizational culture Receipt of guidance, support and feedback Leadership skills development. Increased upward mobility, career satisfaction, access to resources, opportunities to work with decision makers Page 2
At the First Session Task to be complete Mentee Mentor Contracting / outlining the relationship meeting. Identify and outline specific learning goals from the relationship Define expectations. Determine accountability measures. Establish ground rules including how to manage closure. Defining and maintaining confidentiality. Establishing protocols to work through difficult situations. Discuss follow-up. Sessions and actions. Confirm time frames / Frequency of meetings Ownership and accountability Preparation, before the session and accountability after the session Page 3
What documents do I need for the sessions? Mentor Mentoring Time Log Mentoring Session Framework. (To be used in the session) Mentee Session Framework. (To be used in the session) Mentor Partnership Evaluation Form Mentee Mentee Preparation Sheet. (to be sent to Mentor before the session) Mentoring Session Worksheet. (To be used in the session) Mentoring Time Log Mentee Partnership Evaluation Form Some hints and tips on questions to ask during a session Mentor Goal Questions in the sessions: What is it you would like to discuss? What would you like to achieve? What would you like from (to achieve in) this session? What would need to happen for you to walk away feeling that this time was well spent? If I could grant you a wish for this session, what would it be? What would you like to be different when you leave this session? What would you like to happen that is not happening now or what would you like not to happen that is happening now? What outcome would you like from this session/discussion/interaction? Is that realistic? Can we do that in the time we have available? Will that be of real value to you? Page 4
Reality Questions Checking understanding What is happening at the moment? How do you know that this is accurate? When does this happen? How often does this happen? Be precise if possible What effect does this have? How have you verified, or would you verify, that this is so? What other factors are relevant? Who else is relevant? What is their perception of the situation? What have you tried so far? Options Questions Big picture thinking What could you do to change the situation? What alternatives are there to that approach? Tell me about what possibilities for action you see. Do not worry about whether they are realistic at this stage. What approach/actions have you seen used, or used yourself, in similar circumstances? Who might be able to help? Would you like suggestions from me? Which options do you like the most? What are the benefits and pitfalls of these options? Which options are of interest to you? Rate from 1 10 your interest level in/the practicality of each of these options? Would you like to choose an option to act on? Wrap-up Questions At end of session What are the next steps? Precisely when will you take them? What might get in the way? Do you need to log the steps in your diary? What support do you need? How and when will you enlist that support? Page 5
Hints for dealing with difficult situations Acknowledge the conflict make it overt Identify the real conflict what is the real issue, ask questions Listen actively to all points of view Explore and generate ways of resolving the conflict. Aim for a win-win solution rather than win-lose Select a solution and clarify responsibilities Schedule a follow-up Avoid getting personal and vindictive be assertive if you need to Keep your voice low and calm Use I messages and ask questions for clarification and reflection Express appreciation and use empathy Listen and observe non-verbal signals Empathy: ensure that the other person s feelings and opinions are acknowledged and respected Ask for clarification: ensure that you fully understand their position and reasoning by asking questions, rephrasing and echoing what they have said Stay calm: breathe deeply and slowly, focus on staying in adult mode Prepare yourself: gather all the facts and any details such as figures or examples to support your case Compromise: Don t wait for the other person to give in. Strive for a win-win situation and don t be tempted to rush to a quick ego victory. Page 6
Mentee Preparation Sheet Mentee Name: Date: Challenges/Topics I would like to explore in the session How to: How to: How to: The Green Zone Issues in the Green Zone: The Red Zone Issues in the Red Zone: Steps I can take to tackle these issues are: Steps I can take to tackle these issues are: Any other thoughts around challenges/topics I would like to explore in the session based on my preparation? How to: Page 7
Mentee Session Worksheet Mentee Name: Mentor Name: Date: Duration of Session: The Challenges / Agenda for the Session: Actions to take for the next Session Incomplete from previous Session? Insights during the Session Page 8
Mentoring Time Log Date Phone/ Face to face Duration (min) Session no. Comments Page 9
Mentee Partnership Evaluation Form Mentee Name: Mentor Name: Date: Hours Spent: Please explain in your own words how you experienced the mentoring process What was the personal value you gained from the mentoring experience? What was the value you believe the organisation gained as a result of the mentoring you received? Three things you want to acknowledge yourself for Three things you want to acknowledge your mentor for Three pieces of specific feedback for your mentor What, if anything would have made the mentoring experience better? Page 10
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Mentor Partnership Evaluation Form Mentor Name: Mentee Name: Date: Hours Spent: What were the specific things you learned and gained from being a mentor? What was the personal value you believe the mentee gained from the mentoring experience? What was the value you believe the organisation gained as a result of the mentoring? Three things you want to acknowledge yourself for Three things you want to acknowledge your mentee for What do you think you could do better next time? And How? Page 12
Responsibilities of Mentors and Mentees The Mentor Criteria Rights Responsibilities Sufficient time available to devote to the trainee Ability to communicate on matters outside the working environment Meet deadlines and goals Ability to evaluate progress Ability to transfer skills effectively Committed to support and interact with Mentee(s) Recognise excellence in others and encourage it Communicate effectively with others A sense of humour, Ability and desire to nurture other people Effective listening, communication and problem solving skills Willingness to impart knowledge Setting limits Respect from the Mentee Honesty from the Mentee Support from the Mentee Resources Access to the Mentee To terminate the relationship Feedback from the Mentee Developing the Mentee Fair treatment Honesty Consistency Support Fair reporting if needed Liaison with Mentee s manager Maintaining confidentiality Being available Measuring achievements Creating a learning plan / career plan, Setting Limits Page 13
The Mentee Criteria Rights Responsibility Achieved a Performance rating of a 3.5 or more Noted as up and coming talent Individual has a desire to be challenged and grow Has the desire to have a mentor Effective listening, communication and problem solving skills Is development focused Collaboration in the formulation of a development plan Respect from the Mentor Accessibility To terminate the relationship Feedback Face to face contact Commitment Full participation Positive interest in self development Honesty Providing information Sound advice and guidance Confidentiality Undivided attention during consultations Page 14
Mentoring Trouble-Shooting Toolbox Mentor Pitfalls (problems caused by the mentor) Pitfalls Overprotection Ego: the relationship is more important than the mentor Cloning: Mini me syndrome Cultural domination Work overload Lack of flexibility Being too nice Being too strict Solutions Realise that your role is not to protect the mentee from usual feedback that is hard but rather to develop the mentee Refocus yourself by concentrating on the development of the mentee and not on yourself Respect the individuality of the mentee and focus on his/her development needs according to potential and not your preferences or personality Ask the questions: Am I trying to mould a mini me? Learn as much as possible about the mentee s culture and respect it. Do not enforce your own cultural beliefs Be realistic in terms of the mentee s workload Always think of new ways of achieving development and learning. Adapt your style according to changing business needs and realities. Realise that your style of learning might be different from your mentee and accommodate for that. Rather be firm, direct and straight to the point so that mentee gets honest feedback & the opportunity to learn from mistakes. Live by this Emotionally intelligent adage:- It s not what you say...it s how you say it! It s not what you do...it s how you do it! Be realistic and balance in terms of your expectations, objectives & approach Ask the question: Am I a perfectionist and how can this drive to rigid types of expectations and behaviours? Page 15
Mentee Pitfalls (Problems caused by the mentee) Pitfalls Manipulation Hand-Outs Jealousy Unrealistic expectations Dependency Underperformance Solutions Make it clear to the mentee that you see the manipulation and that you will not tolerate it. Set clear parameters for the relationship. Should the mentee continue with manipulation, terminate the relationship The mentee must realise that there are no hand-outs in mentoring. A good challenging task with a right deadline will send a clear message that there will be no hand-outs The mentor and mentee should be careful not to isolate or neglect other employees or behave in such a manner that feelings of jealousy are encouraged A clear mentoring contract, as well as open communication about realistic objectives will set the scene for a balanced mentoring programme The mentor should help the mentee understand that the purpose of mentoring is to enable the mentee to develop in such a way that independence is achieved at the end of the relationship If the mentee does not perform, organise a meeting to discuss under-performance. Ask mentee to generate possible solutions to improve performance. Based on these ideas set clear targets for performance improvement. If mentee struggles to generate solutions recommend possible solutions and get mentee to commit to choosing a particular course of action. This increases commitment and accountability towards performance improvement. Provide the necessary support and resources Page 16
Relationship Pitfalls (Problems caused by both parties) Pitfalls Intimate friendship Unequal relationship Isolating the Manager Too formal a programme Too informal a programme Conflict Diversity problems Confidentiality issues Incorrect matching Untrained parties Solutions Be a good friend but make sure that the mentoring relationship takes precedence over the friendship. Define parameters of the relationship The mentee should be treated as an equal. Show respect and encouragement. The higher the sense of equality, the better the chances for open communication Keep the line manager on board! Organise period discussion sessions with the line manager Encourage parties to identify opportunities for informal mentoring Ensure that the mentoring programme is not too structured or rigid Give some structure to the programme by creating a mentoring policy and strategy Monitor & review the success of the programme Have an open discussion about the conflict and reach consensus on a solution Learn about the other party s culture and demonstrate sensitivity & respect Both parties must commit to confidentially when discussing sensitive issues, policy documents or other people that affect the relationship Do a proper assessment to ensure that mentors and mentees are correctly matched Conduct a mentoring training programme for both parties Page 17