Resolving Conflict in Today s Climate. Ashley L. Reid Senior EEO Specialist National Transportation Safety Board

Transcription

1 Resolving Conflict in Today s Climate Ashley L. Reid Senior EEO Specialist National Transportation Safety Board

2 How do you picture conflict? If necessity is the mother of invention, conflict is its father. - Kenneth Kaye

3 Why me? Conflict Resolution Manager Complaints Manager Certified Mediator Lawyer (in mind only) Master Squabbler Youthful aspirations

4 Agenda What is Conflict? What Causes Conflict? Responses to Conflict Resolution Techniques Case Studies

5 What is conflict?

6 Conflict Defined - disagreement between and among individuals; a fight, a battle, difference of opinion, or idea or a misunderstanding Perception Feeling Action Belief of understanding that one s own needs, interests, wants or values are incompatible with someone else s Involves an emotional reaction to a situation or interaction that signals a disagreement of some kind Actions taken to express feelings, articulate perceptions and get needs met in a way that has the potential for interfering with someone else s ability to get their needs met

7 Not all conflict is bad Fosters awareness that problems exist Encourages growth Stimulates new thinking and new viewpoints Raises questions challenge status quo Builds relationships mutual understanding and respect Highlights diversity

8 What Causes Conflict?

9 What Causes Conflict?

10 Traditionalist (pre -1946) Silent Generation hard-working; work to achieve a job well done. value stability, safety, security, consistency and commitment very loyal to their company; least likely to change jobs wells of knowledge believe in the traditional work practices and the hierarchy style of management respect and status is earned through years of experience; feel their experience warrants respect and status tendency to resist change avoid causing trouble; least likely to initiate conflict at work good team players

11 Baby Boomers ( ) strong work ethic; coined term workaholic sacrifice home life for career goals self-assured; aren t afraid to question authority independent and disciplined goal-oriented; associate work and status with self-worth competitive resourceful team oriented prefer face-to-face communication skills

12 Generation X ( ) Latchkey or MTV generation steady work ethic Work-life balance is important not loyal to any company loyalty is earned, not expected technology literate great rapport with management, but don t agree with the office hierarchy tactic respect is earned through performance, not experience or status appreciate training opportunities and enjoy monetary rewards, based on their individual performance very independent, but work well with others encourage others to think independently expect their company to be charitable, eco-friendly and offer volunteer work during office hours

13 Generation Y ( ) Millenials no longer work for you; they work with you recently surpassed Generation X as the largest generation in the workplace not impressed by job status or titles; believe respect should be earned through performance not loyal if better opportunities present themselves, they will seek out another job more likely to accept a job that fits their lifestyle over one that pays more very tech savvy and adaptable focused on self-improvement and determined to grow in their particular fields need constant communication with their peers and managers, feedback about their work as well as opportunities for training Coach vs boss no longer work for you; they work with you very optimistic and highly energetic BLUF: don t waste time on little things

14 Generation Z ( after) too soon to make generalizations about the work ethic and expectations of this generation more different than Millennials than realized became technologically proficient at a much younger age; will be more technology literate than any other generation social media at the center of their communication channels, rather than faceto-face communication appreciate more virtual work collaborations will require more structure and predictability in the workplace.

15 Responses to Conflict

16 Responses to Conflict PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE Ignore or Avoid Yell Sincere apologies Hide Feelings Physical violence Responsible reporting Whine, fake cry Loud denials Compromise Give in to be nice Threats Talk it out Tattle or Snitch Stomping Active listening Make faces, roll eyes Slam doors Respecting Quiet put-downs Break or destroy things I messages

17 Thomas-Kilmann Ken and I knew that the biggest challenge for designing a better instrument to measure conflict-handling behavior was to overcome the social desirability bias: people s tendencies to present the most socially acceptable image of themselves, rather than present themselves as they really are

18 Conflict Management Styles Source: Adapted from M. Afzalur Rahim, A Measure of Styles of Handling Interpersonal Conflict, Academy of Management Journal 26, no. 2 (1983):

19 Competing: Win/ Lose Takes firm stand Pursue own goals at another person s expense 1. decision needs to be made quickly 2. decision is unpopular 3. defending against someone who is trying to exploit the situation selfishly approach requires dissolving the conflict by eliminating the causes of conflict prevail when operating from a position of power (position, rank, expertise or persuasive ability) People can feel bruised, unsatisfied and resentful (less urgent situations)

20 Avoiding: Lose/ Lose unassertive and uncooperative 1. victory is impossible 2. controversy is trivial 3. when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem **may also occur when there is a need for those involved to cool down. ** Evade conflict entirely Postpone or sidestep dealing with a problem Delegating controversial decisions, not wanting to hurt anyone s feelings Weak and ineffective approach - not achieving results or addressing relationships

21 Accommodating: Lose/ Win 1. Useful when peace is more valuable than winning 2. issues matter more to the other person 3. want to be able to collect on favor later This approach is based on the view that peace must be maintained at all costs Unassertive and cooperative opposite of competing Knows when to give in Willingness to meet needs of others at the expense of the person s own needs Can be persuaded to surrender even when it s not warranted People don t return favors, unlikely to give the best outcome

22 Compromising: Draw 1. Useful when cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground 2. equal strength opponents are at a standstill 3. deadline looming 4. achieve temporary solutions until permanent solutions can be negotiated Make concessions/ seek middle ground Find Mutually acceptable solution which will satisfy the parties Solution that will partially satisfy everyone Sometimes means sacrificing important needs; not unusual for people to walk away unsatisfied from a compromise

23 Collaborating: Win/Win Emphasis is on the group solution Cooperate effectively and acknowledge everyone is important 1. Useful when need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution 2. there s been a history of previous conflicts in the group 3. situation is too important for a simple trade off Meet the needs of all people involved It involves the ability to isolate aspects of a conflict situation and to use negotiation skills exploring the disagreement in an open and frank way or trying to find creative solution to a problem

24 There is NO perfect style Image from -

25 Is the conflict worth it? 1. How invested in the relationship are you? 2. How important is the issue to you? 3. Do you have the energy for the conflict? 4. Be aware of the potential consequences 5. Are you ready for the consequences? 6. What are the consequences if you do not engage in the conflict? Choose wisely

26 Cost of Avoidance Title VII basis 45 calendar days Tangible employment action Responding Management Official Processing costs can range from $ $10,000+ Affects productivity, office morale, resources, etc. Most prominent employee complaint 61% employees report harassment by their boss 33% employees report harassment by their coworker Affects productivity, office morale, resources, etc.

27 Resolution Techniques

28 Mediation An informal process in which a neutral third party, mediator, assists the opposing parties in reaching a voluntary, negotiated resolution of the complaint. Mediators objectives: Search for a mutually acceptable solution to the conflict Counter tendencies toward competitive win-lose strategies and objectives

29 Mediation Informal A foundation for future problem solving Confidential Comprehensive and customize agreement Quick and Inexpensive Mutually satisfactory results Preservation of relationship Greater degree or party control

30 Interest-Based Negotiation 1. Parties are independent and rely on one another to achieve a positive outcome 2. Objective is mutual gain (having needs met) 3. Style is collaborative 4. Result is consensus 5. Focus is on exchange information 6. Alternatives are identified and examined

31 Five Principles of Interest Based Negotiation Separate Focus Create Define Determine

32 Interest-Based Negotiation Steps 1. Introduction 2. Uninterrupted Time 3. Dialogue 4. Problem Solving 5. Agreement 6. Closing

33 Management Strategies Focus on areas of common interest and agreement, instead of areas of disagreement and opposition Don t jump to conclusions or make assumptions about what another is feeling or thinking Listen without interrupting; ask for feedback, if needed, to assure a clear understanding of the issue When only one person s needs are satisfied in a conflict, it is not resolved and will continue Forget the past and stay in the present Thank the person for listening

34 Additional Management Strategies Separate yourself from the situation and take time to cool out Attack the problem, not the person Communicate your feelings assertively, not aggressively Express feelings without blaming Accept and respect that individual opinions may differ, don t try to force compliance, work to develop common agreement Work toward a solution where both parties can have some of their needs met

35 Case Studies

36 Case #1 You and your coworker share a cubicle space. Your coworker is very particular and spends the last five minutes of each day organizing his desk. He has expressed that he doesn t like people messing with his things or moving documents off his desk. He goes on vacation for a week. During this timeframe, a couple of your coworkers and supervisor stop by your suite to discuss various taskings. They all sit at your coworker s desk and in some cases, use a pen, highlighter or sticky note, despite your protests. On Friday, your child becomes ill, and you must leave work during the day to take them to the hospital. On the way home, you stop by the office to send a few s before the weekend. Your child sits at your coworker s desk. Despite being entertained, your child shuffles a few items around on your coworker s desk. You straighten up as best you can. Monday morning, your coworker notices his desk is not how he left it, and confronts you about it.

37 Case #2 It is the end of the rating period and you are preparing the annual performance evaluations for your four employees. Two of your employees have done exceptional work this year, and you have given them each a cash award. One of your employees has done satisfactory work and has been rated such. Your remaining employee has been missing deadlines, turning in projects with mistakes and does the bare minimum that is required. You plan to issue a below average rating and place this employee on a Performance Improvement Plan. The day of the counseling session, your employee becomes agitated and begins to raise her voice. She stands over you ranting about how unfair her rating is considering her coworkers received a cash award. You try to calm her down, but feel yourself becoming angry and offended. She knows what her performance has been like this past year how dare she put you on the defensive?! Before you realize it, you are standing too. Your administrative assistant has now knocked on your door inquiring if everything is okay.

38 Case #3 Suzie Q. is upset with her employee, Dennis, because he hasn t responded to her s in a timely or professional manner. In Dennis s, he doesn t address Suzie by her name or title, nor does he close the s with a Thank You as is custom in her office. She has overheard Dennis call the other supervisors (whom are mostly male) by their titles and is upset with his subtle sexism. Dennis is looking for other jobs. Suzie continually gives him more and more work with shorter deadlines. She doesn t seem to track the amount he has on his plate. He always delivers, however, and in writing which is important so he can track the metrics for his annual appraisal. Using Interest Based Negotiation, how would you go about settling this conflict?

39 Conclusion Every conflict we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential. It can be a source of inspiration, enlightenment, learning, transformation, growth or rage, fear, shame, entrapment and resistance. The choice is not up to our opponents, but to us, and our willingness to face and work through them. - Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith

40 Sources 1. Eric Feigenbaum Organizational Conflict Theory 2. Dr. Jon Warnr Conflict Theory 3. Mayer Bernard The Dynamics of Conflict Resolution: A Practitioner s Guide 4. Learning Package Three: Personality Differences and Conflict Handling Styles, CRANA Plus 5. Communication in the Real World: An Introduction to Communication Studies, University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing