10. The Law of Connection Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask for a Hand

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1 10. The Law of Connection Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask for a Hand Principles of the Law: Great leaders are always looking for ways to grow and improve in the area of communications. Effective leaders know that you first have to touch people s hearts before you ask them for a hand. That is the Law of Connection. All great communicators recognize this truth and act on it almost instinctively. You can t move people to action unless you first move them with emotion. The heart comes before the head. Connecting with people isn t something that needs to happen only when a leader is communicating to groups of people. It needs to happen with individuals. The stronger the relationship and connection between individuals, the more likely the follower will want to help the leader. You develop credibility with people when you connect with them and show them that you genuinely want to help them. The greatest leaders are able to connect on both levels: with individuals and with an audience. You don t need the charisma of former President Ronald Reagan to connect with people. The tougher the challenge for the leader, the greater the connection must be with his followers. A key to connecting with others is recognizing that even in a group, you have to relate to people as individuals. It is often asked, What is the secret to effectively speaking in front of large audiences of thousands of people? The secret is simple. Do not try to talk to the thousands. Focus on talking to one person. That s the only way to connect with people. It s the leader s job to initiate connection with people. Never underestimate the power of building relationships with people before asking them to follow you. People don t care how much you know until they know how much you care. When a leader has done the work to connect with his people, you can see it in the way the organization functions. Among employees there is incredible loyalty and a strong work

2 ethic. The vision of the leader becomes the aspiration of the people. The impact is incredible. There s an old saying: To lead yourself, use your head; to lead others, use your heart. That s the nature of the Law of Connection. Always touch a person s heart before you ask him for a hand. Questions for Further Review: 1. What opportunities do you provide for your leaders to improve their communication skills? 2. Describe a recent situation when you touched a person s heart. 3. When addressing large audiences, how do you connect with individuals? 4. How do you work daily to develop and maintain a relationship network? Action Plan: A. Describe the methods you use to initiate and develop connections with others. B. At your next professional meeting, make a point to connect with other leaders you have never met. C. Go out of your way to make a connection with someone that you have had previous difficulty engaging. Evaluation: Evaluate yourself on a score of 1 to 5 (1 is poor, 5 is great) I genuinely listen to what others have to say. I have developed a strong relationship network. TOTAL (Your leadership score for the Law of Connection)

3 11. The Law of the Inner Circle A Leader s Potential is Determined by Those Closest to Him Principles of the Law: Every leader s potential is determined by the people closest to him. If those people are strong, then the leader can make a huge impact. If they are weak, he can t. That is the Law of the Inner Circle. Good people who are poor leaders don t lead organizations to success. When you have the right staff, potential skyrockets. There are no Lone Ranger leaders. Think about it: If you are alone, then you re not leading anyone. Think of any highly effective leader and you will find someone who surrounded himself with a strong inner circle. Jack Welch, chairman and CEO of General Electric, doesn t leave to chance the formation of the top inner circles within his organization. Since assuming leadership of GE in 1981, he has personally given his okay to every general manager s circle of executives that s five hundred positions in all. Under the best circumstances, a leader should try to raise up people for his inner circle from within his organization. It is important to move poor leaders out and bring effective leaders into an organization in phases. People perform better when they are teamed with people performing at higher levels than they are. There are three groups of people in an organization when it comes to their response to leadership and its impact: 1. those who get it almost immediately and they re off and running with it 2. those who are skeptical and not sure what to do with it 3. those who start out negatively and hope it will go away. Effective leaders should try to bring five types of people into their inner circle: 1. Potential Value those who raise up themselves 2. Positive Value those who raise morale in the organization 3. Personal Value those who raise up the leader 4. Production Value those who raise up others 5. Proven Value those who raise up people who raise up other people

4 It s lonely at the top, so you d better take someone with you. Some leaders have their time so leveraged that they find it impossible to sharpen the focus on their priorities any more than they already have. In other words, they cannot work harder or smarter. They are left with only one choice: learning to work through others. That s when they truly understand the law of the Inner Circle. Hire the best staff you can find. Develop them as much as you can, and hand off everything you possibly can to them. Lee Iacocca says that success comes not from what you know, but from who you know and how you present yourself to each of those people. Questions for Further Review: 1. Have you surrounded yourself with an inner circle of strong leaders? 2. If so, how was this accomplished? If not, how will you correct the situation? 3. Describe a leader in your organization who has an inner circle of strong leaders. 4. How have they maximized the potential of their organization? 5. Identify the members of your inner circle. How long have they been members of your inner circle? Do they influence others in your organization? Action Plan: A. Identify the qualities you look for from members of your inner circle. B. Describe what you do to maintain the best leaders in your inner circle. C. List the changes you will make regarding the members of your inner circle that will make you more effective as a leader. D. List the changes you will make regarding your leadership that will make your inner circle more effective. Evaluation: Evaluate yourself on a score of 1 to 5 (1 is poor, 5 is great) I have surrounded myself with a strong inner circle. I have developed the potential of the leaders in my inner circle. TOTAL (Your leadership score for the Law of the Inner Circle)

5 12. The Law of Empowerment Only Secure Leaders Give Power to Others Principles of the Law: Henry Ford was the antithesis of an empowering leader. He always seemed to undermine his leaders and look over the shoulders of his people. The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. Theodore Roosevelt The people s capacity to achieve is determined by their leader s ability to empower. Only empowered people can reach their potential. Barriers to Empowerment: Desire for Job Security Resistance to Change Lack of Self-Worth Only secure leaders are able to give themselves away. Mark Twain once remarked that great things can happen when you don t care who gets the credit. But you can take that a step farther. The greatest things happen only when you give others the credit. Who we need for leaders are people of heart who are so helpful that they, in effect, do away with the need for their jobs. As strange as it sounds, great leaders gain authority by giving it away. To push people down, you have to go down with them. A key to empowering others is high belief in them. The truth is that empowerment is powerful not only for the person being developed, but also for the mentor. Enlarging others makes you larger. Questions for Further Review: 1. How will empowering others make you larger? 2. Describe the leadership characteristics required to delegate to others. 3. Describe the leadership characteristics which diminish the ability to delegate to others. 4. Discuss how leaders in your organization successfully share power with others. 5. Discuss why leaders in your organization are unable to share power with others.

6 Action Plan: A. Develop a plan to empower two (2) aspiring leaders in your organization. B. Provide specific examples of what you have done to overcome desire for job security as a barrier for empowering others. C. Provide specific examples of what you have done to overcome resistance to change as a barrier for empowering others. D. Provide specific examples of what you have done to overcome lack of self-worth as a barrier for empowering others. Evaluation: Evaluate yourself on a score of 1 to 5 (1 is poor, 5 is great) I am an empowering leader. I have a high belief in the people in my organization. TOTAL (Your leadership score for the Law of Empowerment)